Life sucks
by starshards
Summary: Everyone has a few secrets and a few problems. Rei is certainly no exception, so what happens when he gets drunk and spills them all to his friend? Including the identity of his crush? BL [KaRe], YuuBo, a bit of YuuRe
1. 10 things I hate about Life

**Life sucks- The Re-Edit (Now with Sporks)  
**

Disclaimer: We all know that Beyblade is not owned by some obscure girl from the middle of England, so why must you harass me? Why won't you leave me to dream?

Rei: Am I gonna be all sappy in this?

ST: Nope. In fact you're just going to be a typical horny (did I say horny, I meant _hormona_l) teenager !

Rei: ¬¬ Oh joy! Shinigami Tenshi (thankfully) does not own Beyblade. If she did we'd all be drunk, wear black and gay.

Kai: On second thoughts…

Warnings: Rei/Kai shonen-ai so if you no likey, no ready:(

* * *

Okay. There are ten things very crappy about my life at this moment: 

1. My hair- much as I love it- is a total pain in the ass to manage.

2. I'm in Russia, which is like _the_ coldest place on Earth.

3. I nearly cried to 'Always' by Bon Jovi the other day.

4. I really hurt my foot after jumping off a balcony the other day (not like I'd admit that to anyone, I'm supposed to land with cat- like grace).

5. Mao WILL NOT leave me alone!

6. I'm madly in love (to the point of crazy fan- girl obsession)…

7. … with a guy…

8. … who just happens to be my super- perfect, super- sexy and… super antisocial team captain Kai 'Mr. Sourpuss' Hiwatari.

9. I went to a party, drank WAY too much and I _think_ I told my best friend (next to Kai of course) the above points, possibly in order. This includes telling him my deepest and most heartfelt feelings for said captain, not to mention that he's so incredibly hot that I just want him to fuck me senseless.

10. That friend is the demented leader of Team Neo Borg, who –if I remember rightly (which I may not)- clapped his hands together in delight and said that we would make 'the most perfect couple'. He also said something else but I really can't remember that right now.

So here I am now, 'the morning after the night before'. My head hurts a little. Actually it's pounding, but hey! I'm a guy, I'll just laugh it off, be macho… yeah right. I try to shift into a more comfortable position, only to realise that I'm lying in the recovery position, when did THAT happen?

God only knows how long I've been lying here, suffering and contemplating my actions during the previous night.

'_I can't believe that I told all of my problems and secrets to __Yuriy__'_ I thought miserably. Don't get me wrong, since Biovault's downfall he's really improved and because he's pretty good (well... sort of) friends with Kai we became really close. I mean he's a really good friend once you get to know him, but if I told him then, what if...

'W_hat if I told Kai?'_ I shot up in bed, horrified by the sudden thought, regretting it instantly.

'_Way to go Rei_' said a voice in my head '_that's a fantastic way to get up from a hangover_'. I brought a hand to my head in a vain attempt to nurse the thundering in my brain. I closed my eyes again; the light burned leaving me to feel like a pathetic excuse for a vampire. Yet there was one thing I was sure of. I hadn't told Kai. I'd rambled on about him being my best friend and how he was 'the greatest' but that was all. Even in that state I'm not totally stupid.

Another thing that I was sure of was that I was going to be sick- like right now. Flinging back the covers I clamped a hand to my mouth and dashed to the bathroom; only to find the door locked. Struggling to keep down what my body was so adamantly trying to bring _up_, I pounded on the door. The sound of a lock clicking told me to move, just in time to avoid the door as it flew open. I felt myself pitch forward as the stress on my exhausted body became too much, cringing as the ground rushed towards me. Somehow I didn't hit the floor, was I floating? Blinking in surprise -yes, my hand is _still _over my mouth- I realised that while I had not tapped into some hidden magic deep inside me (remind me not to watch shojo anymore), I was experiencing something just as good. I was being held up by a pair of gorgeously muscled arms, I turned my head, my gaze travelling up those sculptured arms to the shoulder and finally to his face. So who was this unlikely saviour? Well one look at my crappy life and I'm pretty sure you could guess.

Kai was looking at me with a mix of annoyance; worry and embarrassment- '_wait embarrassment? Why is he…?'_ It was then I realised the somewhat interesting position we were in. My face was pretty much buried in his chest (mmmmm, muscley! Gah! Damn hentai thoughts!) And my arm- the one _not _desperately trying to keep my puke down- was around his lower waist. I nearly fainted purely from the fact that my hand was about 3 inches from his ass. He, on the other hand, had one arm about my waist and one at the base of my neck. His checks were pink from his shower and without their usual blue adornments. His hair was wet, and stuck to his face looking unusually tame in comparison to his 'normal' wild spikes. This teamed with his smouldering good looks made him look so goddamn sexy.

Another convulsion snapped me out of my revere, and I grimaced reminded of why I was there to begin with. I was faced with two options; 1. Puke all over the guy of my dreams, therefore killing _any _chance of romance, or 2. Shove past him and empty my stomach in the toilet. Neither were particularly attractive options but thankfully after about 0.3 seconds of deliberation I decided on 2.

Disentangling myself from his arms (much to my dismay), I ran for the toilet, collapsing onto my knees in front of it, not a second too soon might I add. I gripped the sides of the bowl and finally allowed my body free reign, bringing it all up.

'_Poison!'_ my mind screamed '_Alcohol is poison! Oh God! All you can smell is vodka! What the hell must Kai think? '_Of course that sent a new wave of nausea through me.

"Ah, fuck" I managed to groan, my wonderful hair choosing that exact moment to fall forward, covering my face. '_Great!'_ I thought '_I'm gonna be sick in my hair! How VERY attractive!' _I felt tears of frustration threaten my already watering eyes, but I was beyond caring. If Kai was seeing me with my head practically down a toilet, what did it matter if he saw me cry? "Pain in the ass" I whispered my voice shaking slightly, but whether it was from the illness or the emotional trauma I was going through I couldn't tell. Ironically the moment I uttered those words I realised that my hair was no longer in my face.  
"What…?" I trailed off when I finally noticed Kai looming over me, a bunch of my hair in one hand holding it back from my face, the other was absentmindedly rubbing my back.

"Shhhh, it's just bile now, you'll be fine in a minute. You'll be fine" he soothed. '_Wait! Soothed? Kai's comforting me?'_ I felt my mood lifting, and then before I even realised it, it had all passed. I suddenly felt much better, in fact I felt great! Even my headache had died to a dull thumping, my stomach finally settled. Shakily I half- stood, pushing away from the pan and swinging myself against the wall, I slid down into a more comfortable sitting position. Kai merely watched me before leaning over slightly to flush the toilet, while I hastily brushed my tears away with the back of my hand. He turned his gaze back to me, traces of a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"Partied a bit too hard eh, Rei?" He sounded amused, that's right, amused. Not his usual 'better than thou' snappy sarcasm, genuine amusement. I only blinked in surprise, then again though Kai always seemed much more open around me… '_Mmmmm open. Goddamn it! Why must my mind be so perverted!_' I felt my cheeks heat up at the sudden urge to reach out and touch Kai, just to see if he was real, or some beautiful mirage created by my own mind. Kai- thankfully- mistook my blush for embarrassment at his earlier comment.

Turning, he went to exit the bathroom, pausing at the door.

"I'll let you shower, it'll make you feel better" He smirked before closing the door behind him with a soft click. Alone, I heaved a sigh of relief and allowed my thoughts to run wild. What if I _had_ touched him? Would he have pulled away? Would he be angry? Maybe he would like it? Would he touch me? Groaning softly I blushed even harder when I realised that my pants suddenly felt about 3 sizes too small.

"I guess I _should_ have a shower" I grinned before removing my clothes (shamefully I'd slept in my clothes from last night) and stepped under that soothing spray. I felt the tension in my body drain away, Kai was right. I did feel better. Speaking of Kai my back still tingled from where Kai's hand had been, sighing like a lovelorn teenager (which, to be fair I am), my mind began to wander again...

Later when I was –ahem- done, I padded back into the room that I shared with my sex-god of a captain, smiling as I pulled on my usual attire. I quickly bound my hair, my practiced hands making quick work of the raven locks. Finally ready I made my way over to the door. I reached out to grasp the handle, surprised at how much effort it took.

"Get it together Rei" I chided freezing unintentionally as those words hit me triggering a memory from the night before that I had previously forgotten. What Yuriy had said to me after I had told him, _that _something that I had forgotten.

"Shit" I said dumbly, which pretty much summed it up. I could see it now. Yuriy's determined eyes, his earnest expression, his passionate words.

"_I will help you Rei-chan, like you've helped me. No matter what I WILL get you and your Kai together. I promise."_

_

* * *

_  
Shinigami Tenshi: Ok tell me what you think I'm open to any comments. I you wanna criticize me then be constructive about it. It's easy enough to say you hate something. It's harder to say why.

Rei: What's with all the knowledge bullshit?

ST: What's up with you? Stick up your ass?


	2. I am crazy

Oh what joy it is to listen to the Kyou Kara Maou theme ridiculously loud.

Anyway... Here bee the edited version of chapter2... no I am not purposefully using this to put off doing part 8 of 'Mr & Mrs Hiwatari'...

* * *

"Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!" I hissed hitting myself on the head to punctuate each colorful word. 

'_Yuriy__. Kind, helpful and most importantly PSYCHOTIC __Yuriy__.'_ Like I said, great friend, not so great matchmaker. I winced, my head hurting from the one thousand new worries that were buzzing around. (Continually hitting yourself on the head is not a good way to get rid of a headache either). God! I can see it now. Yuriy sitting by Kai at yet another captains meeting and casually saying, "Oh yes Kai. I agree Dragoon needs more defense, by the way Rei's in love with you." Yeah, real romantic!

'_Still_', I supposed '_It really can't get any _less_ romantic.' _Let's summarize it all up shall we? I look a total mess, I was just violently sick in front of him, I cried like a little girl, (not that I have anything against little girls) and finally he probably thinks I'm either: a) a wimp who can't take alcohol, b) an alcoholic or c) some kid who was trying to impress everyone and got carried away.

I suddenly realized just how tired I was, the emotional stress must finally be taking its toll on me. I leaned back against the wall with a not so gentle 'thump' and sank to the floor, not for the first time that morning. I was aching and thirsty, but I couldn't care less. I rested my head back and asked the great question (**_What is the meaning of li_**- not THAT great question!).

'_Why Kai?__ Why did _he _of all people have to see me like this?'_ Realizing that no one would answer, I felt tears rise again. Tears of sadness, desperation, frustration and even a little anger. My mind was a minefield of emotions, every single one of them related to that certain Russian boy who makes my heart beat wildly- and I'm not talking about Yuriy. I somehow managed to hold back my tears; after all, even _I_ have my pride to think about. It's a good job too, ANYONE could have walked in.

"Rei?" I dully wandered if I was imagining things as I sank deeper into my depression.

"Rei?" It persisted; I must admit I was getting a little peeved. Here I was trying to wallow in self- pity and some idiot's trying to talk to me.

"What!" I snapped, glaring at the intruder, only to gasp in shock when I realized who I was talking too.

'_Of course, I should have guessed!' _I thought blackly '_If it isn't enough that he saw me throw up, he now thinks I'm crazy.'_ I noted the flicker of surprise on Kai's face, probably shocked by the fact that mild mannered Rei just snapped at him. To my own surprise he didn't seem angered by my outburst, rather, he looked almost concerned.

"Rei?" He asked again "I heard a thump and I thought…" he trailed off and looked away, but not before I caught the look in his eyes. Worry? Did I just see worry? That WAS concern I saw wasn't it? Wait! Is he blushing?

We stood (well he stood, I sat) like that for a few moments before Kai turned his attention back to me- his cheeks their normal pale colour.

'_Must've imagined it'_ I thought '_After all. Why would he be blushing?' _Further thoughts were interrupted by his voice, softer then usual, starting again.

"Sure you're…" (Clears throat), "…ah…" (C'mon Kai, you can do it), "Okay?"

I blinked- did he? Did he just ask?

_'Yessssssssssssss!_' my mind cried. Kai cares? Kai Hiwatari cares about 'lil old me? Ok Rei, calm down, do not, DO NOT do a victory dance. This is a shock I can tell you. After two years of knowing the Kai I can safely say that you'd have to be near to dying before he shows the faintest hint of concern, (trust me I know). I can see it now… the newspapers tomorrow, on the front page in big bold letters '**KAI HIWATARI CARES ABOUT REI KON'** (not in _that _way written in the small print underneath)- Jesus, maybe I AM crazy.

Despite all of my inner celebration at this breakthrough I remained as ever, casual on the outside. "Yah, I'm –ummmm- fine" I said coolly, "thanks" I added.

Kai merely raised a quizzical eyebrow, looking at me dubiously.

Damn it! I'd forgotten that I was slumped against a wall and that my eyes- full of unshed tears- were big and shiny, like a sodding chibi! Great! Now he thinks I'm even weirder then before, if that's even possible.

"Really, I'm great" I squeak. Will someone just hand me a shovel? Now I even _sound _crazy! Quick Rei, say something, anything. Say something clever, that'll make Kai think you're normal. "I think Dragoon needs more defense" I said casually. Kai merely looked at me utterly confused.

Oh God! Could I have been any MORE random? When I said say something clever I meant, something clever about why you're on the floor, my mind yelled.

'_Yeah, could've told me that _at the time_, good for nothing brain_!' I growled back. '_Retard_!'

"Excuse me" Kai asked, still confused.

Oh no! Do NOT tell me I spoke that aloud!

'_Why is life so cruel?' _I thought pittifully before my mind went into overdrive.

_'Do something Rei! You can't make it any worse. I know! Laugh, act like you're trying to fool him into thinking you're crazy'._ So I did. I laughed.

Unfortunately, I wouldn't exactly call it a laugh. I tried, I really did, it's not my fault that it came out as a hysterical giggle.

'_Shut up Rei_!' My mind cried, '_shut up before he sends you to the insane asylum'_. I shut my mouth with a snap and slowly raised my gaze to Kai's. I winced when I saw his bemused expression change to a scowl, then perplexed before he settled upon a frown.

"Right" He nodded slowly. He really wasn't buying the whole 'I'm fine' act. He turned to leave, halting as he went to open the door, he looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

"We'll talk later" he said making it clear that there was no room for argument, and left.

I merely watched him go, before turning my gaze to stare blankly at the opposite wall. What the hell did I just do?

'_Wonderful! Way to fucking go Rei!' _Said the mocking voice of some random game show host in my head, '_Not only has he spilled all of his secrets and problems to his mentally unstable friend, spewed _and _cried in front of his idol, he ALSO successfully convinced him that he's psychotic!'_ And the audience went wild, letting loose thunderous applause, or maybe that was just my headache returning.

I felt those familiar tears of depression rise, not just from the pain coursing through my head. Running my hands though my disaster of a hair-do I lost all my restraints. I lowered my head into my hands and cried. For myself, for Kai and for the dream I could never have.

"Why is everything so damned _hard_?" I whispered mournfully, before finally regaining my self control. I wiped my eyes and sighing, got up to stand before the mirror. I quickly ran the comb through my hair, trying to salvage some tiny amount of pride. When I was as satisfied as I could be (which wasn't very), I placed the comb down and made my way over to the door. I straightened my back, trying to regain my 'graceful' composure and fixed myself with my usual 'hey I'm Rei, reliable, normal, happy Rei' smile that just felt so fake.

Opening the door I stepped through, and faltered. Unable to stop myself I gasped in horror, turning everyone's attention to me. Yuriy only looked up from his position next to Kai, grinning at my reaction.

"Hi Rei!"

The Gods must truly hate me.

* * *


	3. Yuri the Psychiatrist

Simply, the re-edited version of Chapter 3. Now with Sporks.

Shini does not own Beyblade.

* * *

I stared, well, I gawped at Yuriy like he was a Martian, before my brain finally snapped into action. 

'_Why is he next to Kai?'_ I wondered, horrified. With that my mind began to whirr faster then that of a conspiracy theorist on a paranoia trip. Countless what- ifs ran by. What if he's told Kai? What if he's hinted? What if Kai knows I'm gay? What if Kai _knows_ I love him? What if-

"Rei!" Kai's voice snapped me out of my daze. I realized I was doing a very good impression of a spaced out fish and promptly shut my mouth before turning my gaze to an annoyed Kai.

"What the hell's with the astonishment, it's just Yuriy!" he snapped. The edge in his voice hurt a little, but I suppose that he was growing tired of my weirdness.

I felt my checks heat up again when I realized that everyone was staring at me. Smiling my apologies to Kai, he just grunted and turned away. My smile faltered for a moment as Kai ignored me, but I forced it to remain. Turning my attentions to Yuriy I made a last ditch attempt at least _appearing_ normal.

"Y-" I swallowed trying to sound like my usual friendly self, "Yuriy, what brings _you _here?" Well that couldn't have sounded any _less_ fake.

"Suffering from a hangover are we, Rei?" Yuriy asked smugly. I'm glad I knew what he was like _before_ this, because I would swear that he's evil.

"Ha ha" I made it clear that I'm not amused. "Well then, Yuriy would you care for a walk? I'm sure you need to clear your head too" I smiled sweetly, trying to sound as normal as possible. I had to, _needed_ to get him away from Kai. I silently prayed to whatever Gods still liked me (which apparently were few and far between), that Yuriy would stop playing with me and just take the hint.

Unfortunately, Yuriy had other ideas. "Actually, I don't think that I was anywhere near as bad as you Rei- chan" He grinned, clearly loving my discomfort.

It took all of my self control not to throttle him right there and then, however, that would really _not_ be what the _perfect _Rei Kon would do. No Rei Kon would be the epitome of maturity and handle the situation with a cool calmness that would make a grown man cry. Rei Kon _would not_ kill Yuriy.

"Well, I've been thinking that I'd really like to have a nice chat about how your team is doing. After all, I'm hoping that they've got some new moves ready for the next tournament" I said in a voice as sweet as honey, which would make even the coldest of hearts melt (or so I hoped).

"But we did that last night, Rei- chan" he said 'innocently'. Ok, so I'm forcing myself not to twitch here. My annoyance only heightened by the mischievous glint in my insane friends eyes, I desperately tried to ignore the war chant of '_kill __Yuri__y, kill __Yuriy__, kill __Yuriy__, kill…_' currently pounding in my head. I resumed my smiling façade and looked around at everyone, only too aware of how much of an idiot I looked. Apparently 'the voice' didn't work, but at least it seemed to have brought Kai's attentions from the steaming mug in his hands back to me. I risked a glance at his face, only to catch his gaze slide from me, to Yuriy and back to me again, his eyes narrowed slightly (which would have been undetectable, if I weren't a proud member of the 'I love Kai' fan group). However this was no time for jokes, what worried me was the emotion in Kai's eyes. He seemed… I tried to place the emotion, before realizing how obvious it was. Kai is NOT a stupid person, and he _knows _when something's up. Especially if it concerns a member of his team, in fact, he makes it his business to know, so should I really have been that surprised when I saw the suspicion in Kai's eyes? I gulped, I had to get out of here- NOW! Preferably _with_ Yuriy. I shot a pleading look to him, indicating that I was starting to panic, and tried one last time.

"Yes but I don't remember." I cringed mentally at the slight whine in my voice. This time however, Yuriy took pity on me and smiled a genuine smile. I found myself calming down, Yuriy always seems to wind me up and at the same time calm me down. Strange really.

"Oh, then I'd love to update you" he said, as friendly as ever. Thank the Gods! He's finally stopped playing with me.

"Right, let's go" I nodded. Wasting no time I swept past him, grabbing his arm and marching towards the door. I ignored his chuckles and turned back to face my team mates.

"See you all later" I called as Takao and Max resumed their morning regime.

"See ya, Rei!" Max called back from the kitchen.

"Waiters Ood!" came Takao's near unintelligible reply, obviously stuffing his face (I think he said 'laters dude' but one can never be sure when Takao's involved). Lastly my gaze fell (as always) upon Kai, and I was surprised to find that he was annoyed about something. Probably Takao, it usually is.

"Bye" I said in an unwittingly soft voice.

"Yeah, bye" Kai scowled and got up, stomping to our bedroom. Choosing not to dwell on Kai's impending bad mood, I opened the door and excited the BBA Revloution's suite.

Finally alone with my psychotic best friend, we walked in silence until we reached the little coffee shop just across the road from out hotel. Grabbing a table, I resumed my wonderings, staring off into space.

"R- ei!" Yuriy sang, bored of the silence and trying to get my attention back, which unfortunately _did_ work.

"What?" I grumbled, still not in the best of moods.

"That was **so **much fun!" he grinned. Now I _knew _he was trying to piss me off.

"What?" I snapped "No Yuriy! That **was not** fun! I-" I paused, lowering my voice.

"I thought you were gonna tell him…" I mumbled, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment, as I lowered my eyes- suddenly the table cloth was the most fascinating thing I'd seen.

I felt rather then saw Yuriy roll his eyes as he issued a long sigh, similar to the way a nursery school teacher would. I stopped studying the tablecloth to find that Yuriy's expression had turned serious.

"Rei give me some credit, I'm a little more tactful then _that_" he looked a little hurt when he said that. I lowered my eyes again, suddenly feeling guilty. Yuriy had trusted me so much and I'd underestimated him again. I looked up again this time to apologize, when a waitress interrupted.

"Can I get you guys anything?" she said flirtatiously.

"Mocha please" Yuriy smiled, the waitress nearly fainted from that, a sloppy smile planted itself on her face. I was used to that, I mean Yuriy is cute, very cute and girls (and quite a few boys) loved him. Speaking of which, I am extremely thankful for the fact that Kai had turned him down when he asked him out a few months ago. Otherwise I wouldn't be here and Yuriy would certainly _not_ be my best friend. I would have been worried if it wasn't for the fact that Yuriy had assured me that he was definitely over Kai, and now had his eye on someone else.

"And you sir?" she prodded; I realized she was talking to me and I turned my gaze to her smiling apologetically.

"Tea please-" I paused to glance at her name card "Alex".

"Uhh, right away sir!" she blushed and rushed off. I watched her retreating figure confused. What did I do now? All I did was order tea and she ran away… am I really _that _repulsive? I sighed. At least I was alone with Yuriy again, I still felt really bad about hurting his feelings. I looked down to the tablecloth again- I'm pretty sure that I'm going to be an expert on tablecloths by the end of this- wondering what to say to Yuriy.

"Besides" Yuriy mused, I looked up startled as he broke me out of my thoughts. He had a far off look on his face and I realised that he must have thought aloud, yet he surprised me again by levelling his gaze with mine, his expression deadly serious.

"Besides" he said again "I'm not crazy enough to get Rei Kon mad" he seemed to be struggling with something, and I knew what it was when his face broke into a delighted grin, unable to maintain his mock seriousness, "at least not anymore" he finished, chuckling. I somehow found myself grinning back and I felt my bad mood lifting. I sighed happily, knowing that I was forgiven. My thoughts were broken once again by our waitress returning, setting Yuriy's over-the-top beverage down in front of him and handing my tea to me. I noted that my tea looked positively boring in comparison to the whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles of Yuriy's drink. I looked at the waitress and smiled sweetly, thanking her. Her blush returned in full force and she mumbled a hasty 'no problem' before rushing off once again. Like before I was dumbfounded as to why this girl seemed to dislike me so much. I decided to voice this aloud.

"Why is she so freaked out about me? Is it my eyes?" I whined, I hated it when people thought my eyes were weird.

Yuriy merely looked at me like I was stupid, before chuckling once again, shaking his head "How is it that somebody as mature and worldly- wise as you can be so naïve?" I felt a little offended at that. I am **so** not naïve!

"What?" I cried

"Well, for one, she didn't think you were a freak, she's probably pleased that you bothered to call her by her name-"

"- But that's only good manners, I've been there, I mean the waiter thing" I interrupted.

"There's also one other tiny fact" He pointed out, sipping at his mochachino and digging into the whipped cream with a spork.

"What?" I asked not trusting the answer.

"You're really hot" Yuriy grinned. I damn near fell of my chair in response to that.

"W-what?" I gasped

"Y'know, for a gay guy you sure don't know much about girls" he stated, laughing at my response. I found myself laughing with him, like I said before; Yuriy's a great friend once he lets you get close to him. As our laughter quietened, I felt reality start to set in.

"Yuu- chan" I started, "just, please don't say anything to Kai. I won't be able to bear it when he turns me down" I sighed, admitting the fear I'd been carrying in my heart for the past year and a bit.

"I think the word you're looking for is 'if', and, Rei try having some faith in Kai. I've never seen him as close to anyone as he is to you. You're his best friend, though he may not show it." He replied, frowning slightly.

"Exactly!" I cried, instantly dropping my voice when I realised how much attention I'd gained. "Exactly, which is why he'll hate me even more. He'll think I've betrayed his trust or something, I _know_ he'd freak."

"Hate?" Yuriy snorted, "I don't think anyone could ever _hate_ you Rei." He looked up from his now finished coffee and met my eyes, his expression softening. He set the cup down and stood, making his way around the table to my side. His expression became serious again as placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Look, I've got to go, big boring meeting, blah, blah, blah- you get the gist." Smiling he gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "I only want my friend to be happy." He said gently, "And I know that if you carry on like this you'll end up _un_happy, and do you know why?" I shook my head dumbly, shocked by Yuriy's sudden compassion. "Because you never gave it a shot." I stared at him dumbfounded, maybe he _was_ right. He mouthed two words before turning and leaving. I stared at the space where he had been pondering his words of wisdom- before something struck me. I leapt up and ran to the door, only to find Yuriy already half-way down the street.

"HEY!" I yelled, "YOU DIDN'T PAY FOR YOUR DRINK!". He paused, obviously hearing my words. Spinning around, I could see his grin even at this distance… that sod!

"I NEVER SAID THAT MY THERAPY CAME FREE!" he half yelled, half laughed before waving and setting off.

Shaking my head in mock wonder, I re-entered the coffee shop, trying to avoid the glares from the staff, who obviously thought that I was trying to do a runner. I flopped heavily back down on the chair I had previously warmed, once again allowing my thoughts to drift to the order which Yuriy had mouthed:

'Tell him'

* * *

xxx  



	4. Life like a soap opera

Some replies To: 

Shiroi Maho: Thanks for your support! You give me the confidence I need to write!

Dragon of Sakura: hugs back Heh, I think Kai is a little jealous too, lets see what he does about it eh?

SoulSister: I love Yuri too, that's why I HAD to put him in !

Fairy Navi: I'm trying really hard to update, love your name btw!

Dreamy: Thanks for the lovely comments! I try!

Chibby Kitty: Thanks very much . I really appreciate the nice comments!

Kai- Chan: Thanks for the great comment! Its nice to know that I got the best fangroup behind me!

Shinikami Dragon: goes chibi and shakes head like 3 year old nope! Won't tell! But yes, Rei and Yuriy (and Kai of course) are VERY kawaii!

Keisan: Im sure Kai WILL make Rei feel better gets big hentai grin

TO EVERYONE ELSE, including Giant Rubber Moose (XD, cant get over the greatness of that name), Platinum Rei, Cassiby and kailova (scared of feeling the wrath of) THANK YOU!

* * *

I wandered silently, alone- not including the forty-or-so fangirls trailing behind me- trying desperately to calm my inner turmoil. My emotions were more jumbled then a girl with PMS, and all of it was because of Yuriy- or more precisely- what he had said. I found myself musing Yuri's words of 'wisdom' again. 

"Tell him", the very simplicity of it was overwhelming. And it is. Simple, I mean. The truth is, it wouldn't be that hard to say 'Hey Kai I love you!_'_ (or, for a hillarious notion- 'Hey Kai, me love you long time'), because I have no doubt in my mind that it's true. What's not so simple is taking the reaction, whatever it is. It won't be as simple as an outright 'yes' or 'no'.

I learned after leaving the Bai Fu Zu and seeing the world- really _seeing_ it for the first time- that there _is_ no black and white, but many shades of grey, and for every action there is a consequence. If I _were_ to tell him what would be the consequences? If he said no I'd have to bear heartbreak and humiliation at the very least. He could kick me off the team, which would lead to uncomfortable questions on my part. He could freeze on me, destroying our already fragile relationship. He could feel betrayed that the one person that he has allowed himself to relax around thinks of him in _that_ way. I could deal with the trauma eventually, I'm a lot stronger then I give myself credit for and I know it. What wouldn't heal would be my heart, and yes I'm aware that I sound like a Disney character (though don't expect me to burst into song, please), but I know it wouldn't. I feel far too deeply for him. I continued to sink deeper into my miserable thoughts when something Yuriy had said sprang into my thoughts.

'_I think the word you're looking for is 'if', and Rei, try having some faith in Kai. I've never seen him as close to anyone as he is to you_'. I slowly came to a halt. The words played over and over again in my head.

"If." I found myself mumbling aloud. _If._ This was something I'd never considered before; in all of my wonderings I'd only ever seen Kai turn me down. I'd always silently hoped that he 'swung that way', but had convinced myself that I could never be so lucky. Yet when I thought about it, _really _thought about it, there was no evidence to indicate that he was straight either, in fact, he seemed to despise girls, period. I found myself remembering last year when Yuriy had told Kai that he liked him, I had felt my heart thudding in my chest when I found out, aching with the thought of Kai with someone else, yet some tiny part of me had hoped that Kai would say yes, at least then I would have _known_ if Kai could like a guy. Kai had, obviously, said no (for which I was extremely happy about) but he hadn't been disgusted or upset, he'd just matter-of-factly said that he was sorry but he didn't think of Yuriy as anything other then a friend (well, Kai hadn't exactly said friend, more acquaintance). Not that he didn't like him because he was a guy.

I felt a tiny flutter in my heart. It's as if by telling Yuriy last night I've relieved a great weight from my mind. It's like I'm thinking about things properly for the first time. Maybe that's what Yuri meant by having faith in Kai, after all, its not like Kai's shallow. He'd probably accept anyone sexuality, most likely with indifference, the real question is why am I so scared to accept that I may have a chance? I'm terrified that Kai will say no, but now I realise that I'm also scared that Kai will accept me. My life would change greatly, no longer the love struck admirer but an active part of Kais' life and he a part of mine. I have no doubt that he's 'The One' anymore, but am I really ready for such a huge commitment? I mean I've never even kissed anyone, yet in a relationship you have to be intimate, in body and in soul or else it won't work. Excuse me for putting it bluntly, but as much as I dream of it am I really ready for things like sex? -Not like I'm expecting to get laid anytime soon.

I felt a blush rise at that thought, but my mind was once again assaulted by Yuriy's words;

'_If you carry on like this you'll end up unhappy_'. He was right. My feelings for Kai are eating me up inside. Ever since I realised that my simple crush had developed into an adoring sort of love, I've found life more and more stressful.

'_Do I have a chance_?' I wondered. My immediate reaction was to dismiss this thought, to push it away, banish it from my mind, but I didn't, not this time. Instead I looked at why not. Why_ wouldn't_ Kai like me? I'm strong both physicallyand mentally, I'm mature (sort of), I'm brave (as proved in my match against Boris), I'm loyal and I'm good looking (apparently). I'm not being narcissistic I'm just repeating what Yuriy said to me and what the forty three (yes I counted) fangirls are whispering fervently behind me.

Kai should be happy I love him I concluded.

I sighed. This self help stuff really isn't working.

'_Yuri__y said that I'd regret it if I never gave it a shot_' I thought suddenly. '_What if I **do** never give it a go!'_I would be unhappy. I would be living a lie, being someone I'm not.

"A coward" I whispered.

It was at that moment that I knew things had to change. My life had reached a crossroads, and I had to decide which way was the right way. Do I leave it and hope that my feelings fade? Or do I tell the one I love about how I feel. Would living with rejection be better then this uncertainty? I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before choosing my path, a path that I would not allow myself to turn away from. Slowly I opened my eyes and took a step forward, and for the first time in weeks found myself feeling truly happy.

"Or maybe it's the calm before the storm" I chucked to myself before heading towards the looming figure of the hotel, where my heart and ultimately my destiny awaited.

My, aren't I dramatic?

* * *

Shinigami Tenshi: Wow! What a random chapter. I kinda like it, it's nice to really look into Reis' head once in a while, even if it IS the way I perceive it.

xxxxx


	5. Good God they're gay!

On a side note... Mao bashing... utterly chiche of a typical KaRe fangirl. I like her now, ehehe. Since G-Rev and watching it in Japanese, you can't help but feel that sh's not really a threat any more. She's blatently into Lai/Lee, so I hope she gets her man (though I'd rather see her get it on with someone like Julia XD)

...I love Mao. I hope she forgives me for bashing her ..

* * *

You know what? I'm a Fool. A one hundred per- cent genuine idiot. If I had a middle name ( which I don't) It would be 'Moron', yup- Rei Moron Kon. I mean, I'm Chinese and I have no middle name? What's up with **that**? Maybe my parents wanted me to name myself…? It has a nice ring to it at least.

Sorry am I procrastinating again? I'm guessing you're wondering why I am currently displaying the mental prowess of a five year old child and not having a hot and heavy tongue wrestle with a certain team captain right? Fear not! For all shall be explained.

Let us step back five minutes, into the misty depths of time and space and see why I am at this moment diverting myself by banging my head against a wall. Yes, the scene goes swirly and voices go echoey in that 'there's going be a flashback' kind of way. Or maybe I should stop giving myself brain damage.

**Flashback**

Kai places a hand upon my own in a surprising display of compassion. My gaze met his and I found myself drowning in those orbs that looked impossibly on fire. I had to fight the urge to jump him there and then and my hand twitched under his.

"Good luck, my friend" I nodded and tore my eyes awa-

End Flashback 

Oops, sorry wrong memory. Ah- there it is…

**Flashback (the right one)**

I made my way over to the lift (sorry elevator for all you Americans) and absentmindedly pressed the button for the 8th floor, my mind dwelling on how exactly I was going to express my never- ending love and adoration to my team captain. Unfortunately I had only gotten as far as

'_Kai, I—he he he! That rhymes_!' before an annoying little 'ping' announced that I had reached my destination.

I padded down the corridor, tip-toeing for some utterly obscure reason that failed to register until I was actually standing outside our suite (I am seriously beginning to worry about my mental stability). I reached forward to grasp the handle, but found that my hand made a last minute diversion to my hair. I grimaced at how knotty it felt, not exactly relishing in the idea of telling Kai how I feel while sporting a head of messy hair. I resolved to allow 'brush hair' to become number one priority and pulled my hand away. I let out a tiny gasp, surprised by the fact that my hand was shaking uncontrollably, was I really that nervous? Judging by the lurching of my stomach and the fact that I looked like I was being struck by an earthquake, I would say that I am.

Despite myself I chucked at my own distress, I figure that this may well be the last time I'll ever need to laugh at this kind of situation, or it'll be the last time I laugh, period. I paused my gentle laughter to take the time to gaze at the door, or more precisely our lovely 'plaque' which proclaimed this suite as ours. It was lovingly made by Takao, which only served to make it more comical. He had religiously drawn our team name and coloured it in for hours. The result had been a piece of paper which was really quite worthy of the 'BBA Revoluton'. Yes, I said BBA Revoluton, not BBA Revolut_i_on. After all that effort Takao had spelt our name wrong. Suffice to say that laughter had reigned in room 904, even Kai had managed a smirk, which I think had wounded Takao the most. In the end though we spared him his pride and proudly displayed our new plaque- much to the humour of Yuriy.

Deciding that it was time for action and feeling somewhat calmed by a reminder of Takao's insanity, I sighed and swung the door open. I entered our current home noting that Takao was still eating and that Max was dressed- in boxers? I concluded that destiny came first; asking after Max's new clothing habits came later. For some reason both Kyojyu and Kai were nowhere to be seen, but Kai's whereabouts concerned me a little more then Kyojyu's- after all I like the kid but I think we all know how I feel about Kai. I turned and addressed the resident lunatic (even more so than me).

"Umm, Max?" I called, trying to turn his attention from the television to me while ignoring the fact that he was in his underwear "Is Kai in our room?" I asked sweetly, sending silent thanks to my body for keeping my voice from going squeaky.

Max looked up from the TV set and simply said; "No he's at that meeting remember?" and resumed watching his programme. If the slightest gust of wind had blown through our suite, it would have toppled me over. After all that bloody debating and preparing for the most important moment of my young life, I'd forgotten that he wasn't even here.

"Oh yeah," I mumbled dazedly and made my way over to our room.

"Grab your swimming stuff while you're in there," Max shouted as I walked through the door.

"Uh-huh." I mumbled and closed the door behind me.

End Flashback 

That pretty much brings you up to speed. I am glad to say that I have stopped trying to bash what little brains I have out, it was starting to hurt a bit. I decided to get up off the floor and take action: I flopped onto my bed, sighing heavily trying to clear my (now empty) head. I felt my mood darken once again and thought about blasting out some '_Evanesance_', for melodramatic effect but that seemed kind of cliché, besides I didn't want to get in trouble with hotel management. I was considering lying dejectedly on my bed all day, but I got bored after about three minutes and started to draw little doodles of me and Kai on a random piece of paper I found. Actually I'm not a bad artist, I mean at least you can make out that it's Kai and me. I found myself grinning and thinking perverted thoughts at what I could draw when I was disturbed by a knock at the door. I started and quickly sat up shoving my 'art' under my bed.

"Come in." I called out.

"Rei, you read- why aren't you in your swim gear yet?" Max huffed as he walked in. He continued when he saw my blank expression. "Rei, didn't you hear me earlier? I told you to get your swimming stuff together, there's a pre- tournament pool party!" I blinked once. Oh! So that's why he's… never mind. I told you before; I'm an idiot. I shook my head and returned my attentions back to Max. You could nearly see him bounce with excitement, actually he **was** bouncing. Hmmmn, he must have had coffee again.

"Well we're going now so we'll see you down stairs in a couple of minutes 'kay?" He had already left the room and was apparently on his way out of our suite judging from the way his voice trailed off. "Oh! And don't forget to lock the door!" He yelled. My jaw dropped at that.

'_Me_?' My mind rebelled '_That's rich coming from Max I'm the reliable one! What makes him think that I would forget to lock the bloody door? Unless-'_

I groaned. They probably think I'm loosing it after my little 'episode' this morning. Great! Everyone thinks I'm a fruitcake. Let's go and celebrate- gah! I'm just a poor kid who's in love! I'm not crazy, everyone else is! Besides didn't someone once say you've got to be crazy to fall in love?

I rolled my eyes at this and flopped back down onto my bed. All this stress was not good for my health and it was making me annoyingly paranoid. When I thought about it calmly (which believe it or not I can do) it was probably something Max always did, most likely because he was prone to forgetfulness himself. My emotions were running high at the moment and I was becoming far too defensive. I needed to relax before I snapped at someone- not a very 'Rei- like' thing to do. I let my mind wonder to what Max had informed me of.

"A pool party" I murmured aloud. It was perfect. A few dives would really help me to relax, not to mention that it would be a lot of fun to hang out with all of my friends under circumstances not related to blading. Don't get me wrong I _love_ blading, I mean what kind of world class Beyblader would I be if I didn't love it? The only problem was that when you saw friends and acquaintances during highly competitive sporting competitions you don't _really_ get to see them. There's not much space for 'quality time' in between all the trash talk and boasts. Even the after- match parties (which I am quite acquainted with as we all well know) are ruled by conversations about the latest match. The only reason I know Yuriy so well is because we made a point of talking to each other, whether through phones, text, emails, messenger or in person. I hoped that I could find others that I could get on with as equally well (though I somewhat doubted it). A swimming party- I concluded- should be a fun way to get to know everyone better.

I glanced at the alarm clock and was surprised to find that 15 minutes had passed since Max and Takao's departure. I frowned at my habit of falling into unnecessarily deep thought and rolled off the bed to retrieve my swim shorts from my travel bag (which, might I add, is right next to Kai's hehehe- God I'm pathetic) and hurriedly change into them. Remembering my 'number one priority' I ran a comb through my dishevelled hair and grabbed a towel before setting out. Thanks to Max's superb advice (I jest) I locked the door and entered the lift for the third time that morning. Upon reaching the basement (you **seriously** don't expect me to swim outside in Russia do you?) I was greeted by the sight of about twenty young adults running, jumping, screaming, splashing and/or eating. Oliver and Enrique seemed to be off to one side alone talking quietly to each other, which I thought was pretty strange. I stood there taking it all in when:

"REIIIIIIIIIIIII!" I groaned inwardly and looked towards the direction that the sound originated from. Mao was running towards me, screaming like a banshee, arms flailing like she was trying to fly or something. I braced myself for impact… 5…4…3…2…1… and there she is. I'm trying really hard to breathe as she clings to my neck while rubbing her face into my chest like she's trying to nuzzle me, or something.

"Mao!" I wheezed, not quite returning in full force her delight.

"We missed you Rei!" she pulled back grinning like a Cheshire cat (no pun intended). Translation- _I_ missed you Rei, since 12 hours is far too long to be parted from your side. Of course I'm fully aware of Mao's feelings for me, you'd have to be blind not to know, on the other hand though I suppose that I'm pretty obvious in who I have feelings for myself. The difference is that no one _expects_ me to like Kai, therefore no one _looks_ for it. I looked at the bundle of life in my arms and smile- genuinely too. See I describe her like a child because that's how I see her, she means a hell of a lot to me but the only love I will **ever** feel for her is that of a big brother. I stress this point further by disentangling myself from her grasp and asked her a question, more out of politeness rather then real concern (after all I had seen her just last night)

"How are you today, Little sister?" putting stress on the _sister_. She seemed not to notice though; she never did, even though I had started calling her little sister last year.

"Well I'll tell you, Rei" –oh joy- " I'm shocked! Just now, well… I can't explain it! See for yourself… I'm at a loss for words"- that's a rare occurrence- "Lai's freaking out"- must be bad- "Look!" She hissed and spun me around.

I gasped. My heart froze in my chest.

Oliver and Enrique. KISSING!

And here was me thinking that Yuriy and me were the only gay guys around here.

* * *

...I hope every one appreciates me editing this ;;; 


	6. Here comes the Bride

Notes: Editing is hard. Don't try it.

Additionally… I am now in my fourth year (2003, 2004, 2005, 2006) of being a KaRe worshipper. Life is good.

Besides, editing does take my mind of University revision.

To anyone who is confused: Yuriy is Tala.

* * *

'_I wonder if Enrique is a good swimmer?_' I thought amusedly, referring to Enrique's new hobby. Those two have been at it for about ten minutes now, and by 'at it' I don't mean Beyblading (nor, of course for the more pervy- minded among us were they doing something that belongs only in 18+ rated movies).

I think that Oliver's turning even paler then usual- God maybe they're vampires! Just like Sanquinex. That would certainly explain the paleness and the lacking of need for oxygen…

Further thought on this fascinating subject was interrupted by a sudden awareness that someone was talking to me. I shifted my gaze sideward towards the source of the noise, only to find that it was Mao, who was looking at me expectantly.

I gave her my 'ponderous' look which is currently an 'I- don't- know- what- the- hell- you- just-said' expression. Seeing my blank look she rolled her eyes and sighed.

"I _said,_" she huffed in a tone similar to that you would use on a three year old child, or perhaps Takao, "It's disgusting isn't it"

My mouth popped open in automatic protest, only for me to snap it close again when I realised what I was about to say. Every fibre of my being longed to see my 'little sisters' response if I spoke my mind, if only I had the courage to say "It doesn't matter about gender" or "What does it matter as long as they're happy?" or even "I certainly wouldn't mind". I found myself grinning at that one- how the hell would she react to _that_?

It took me a moment to realise that my smile was miss-timed. Mao, who was still waiting for my response, seemed annoyed that not only hadn't I immediately agreed with her, I had also had the nerve to find it funny. The appearance of an annoyed fang wiped my smile away and made me gulp slightly. I was not in the mood to mess with a PMS-ing Mao. After a few seconds thought I decided upon my best course of action- plead indifference.

"Just let them get on with it" I replied, unable to keep the note of defensiveness from my voice. Seeing as that shut her up I turned my attentions to the buffet. After all, the prospect of free food shouldn't be taken lightly, which Takao is so pleasantly demonstrating- he's managed to clear half the table already.

I found myself picking at the food, eating only a few of those really nice cheese and pineapple things before I realised that I was full. My lack of appetite must be the result of nerves; the meeting was over in about 3 minutes. I had a feeling that these next ten minutes were going to be the longest ten minutes of my life. I had to find some way to distract myself. I looked around desperately before I realised the obvious. I was at a pool party. Hitting myself on the head I walked towards the pools edge and stretched before executing a rather graceful dive- if I may say so myself. I wiggled around in the water for a bit, relishing in the feeling of being so free and the way that the warm liquid played with my hair, before resurfacing when the need for air became too great. I found myself at the 'abandoned' side of the pool and swam over to the side. Deciding to rest there I placed my head on my arms and let my mind drift while I allowed my body to be comforted by the waters soothing caress. I sighed heavily, feeling truly at peace for the first time in days- well at least I did until I felt someone crash into the water besides me. The sudden surge of water caused me to loose my balance and I feel backwards, coming up seconds later spluttering. I turned to glare at the intruder, only to be faced by the rather hilarious site of Oliver splashing around like a maniac with his green bangs plastered to his face, rendering him blind. My scowl was quickly replaced by a grin as I reached out to grab the small French pretty boy by the shoulder and hauled him back to the safety of the side. He grabbed onto it muttering furious curses in his native language. Unable to contain myself, I burst into a fit of laughter, which turned Oliver's annoyed glare onto me.

"What?" he snapped, I only laughed harder. Still waiting for an explanation he waited for my laughter to subside before cocking an inquisitive eyebrow.

"It's just that you looked so outraged" I smiled, shaking my head, "Besides" I chuckled, "I thought that French was meant to be a romantic language."

At that he snorted indignantly, before joining me in our quiet laughter. "Sorry for snapping at you" he smiled apologetically when we'd finished, "It's just that 'Rique knows I hate surprises! God- he could have hurt both of us!" he admonished. I only smiled at my European friend, he seemed so happy with Enrique (despite the throwing of a partner on Enrique's part). That simple playfulness that made a relationship special, I wish that I could have that with Kai.

"You're lucky that you have that." I said in a quite voice, only half realising that I'd spoken that aloud. Oliver instantly turned his gaze on me.

"Yeah, I am," he replied just as quietly. He hesitated, as if about to say something, before looking seriously at me. I didn't understand why he was suddenly so serious before I realised that as far as he knew, I could be a homophobe, no wonder he seems to have become so worried.

"Look" I said as monotonously as I could, "I have absolutely no problem with your relationship. I mean as long as you're happy…" I trailed off when I noticed that he was grinning at me. Why is it that when I'm trying to be nice people find it funny?

He shook his head when he saw my hurt expression, his smile softening. "No, no, my friend, I'm not laughing at you. I just knew that you of all people wouldn't have a problem with me and 'Rique being together. It didn't need to be said." I nodded before freezing- me of all people? Before I had a chance to ask what Oliver was on about he continued; "No what I was trying to say is that it was a lot of work to get to where we are today." He looked pointedly at me before continuing, "It was hell, y'know? I hated trying to hide how I felt, but it was so hard. Especially with him being a team member, being so close all of the time." He sighed and I waited for him to continue, gripped by what he was saying. Everything he said I could relate to, yet there he was now, happy and in love, I wanted- _needed_ to know how he got there.

"I kept blushing and had to make up excuses about why I couldn't be near to him without fidgeting. He must have thought I was nuts! I acted like a complete idiot around him, but in the end it all worked out." He shrugged, a sloppy smile planted on his face as he looked over to Enrique who was currently talking to Max. I suddenly felt the familiar sting of tears forming in my eyes. _I_ wanted that. I wanted it so much.

"How?" I whispered. Oliver immediately turned his attention back to me, concern written all over his face. I looked away ashamedly, blinking back my tears- God! Hadn't I cried enough lately? The touch of a hand to my shoulder made me involuntarily look at Olivier, who to my surprise was smiling gently at me.

"I used to get really upset too." He said gently, "It got worse and worse until I finally got the nerve to tell him. I was terrified, but I figured that in the end, what happens happens. We can't change that." He smiled at me and I found myself smiling back, thankful for his words of wisdom. He pulled back and hoisted himself out of the water.

"I'm just thankful that I didn't fall for Robert, God falling for your team captain? What a **nightmare**!" he grinned. It took me a moment to realise that he was playing with me… that sneaky little bastard!

"Hey!" I shouted at his retreating back. He turned back to me and stuck his tongue out before making his way over to Enrique.

How in the hell did Oliver know that I liked Kai? Hn, must be a gay- thing. I stared off into space, a small smile upon my lips. I had that feeling again. You know the one, all warm and fuzzy, like you know that everything's going to work out.

Unfortunately, I was so spaced out that I didn't notice Mao slip into the pool besides me until she practically shouted 'HI REI!' down my ear. I of course, being the epitome of manliness, let out a high- pitched shriek and succeeded in banging my head against the side. Rubbing my head furiously I turned back to yell at Mao for nearly killing me, only to find that she was looking at me in an extremely strange way. Impending headache forgotten, I let my curiosity get the better of me (Hey! I AM a Neko- Jin after all!), and asked her what was wrong. She hesitated, she seemed suddenly nervous, which was strange for her. She's usually so boisterous.

"Well, Rei" She started, "I was, umm, thinking that, well…" I stared at her blankly not understanding a word of what she was saying. She took a deep breath and continued.

"I was talking it over with Lai and the village elders and, well…" I patiently waited for her to spit it out when I heard the ping of a lift, announcing that somebody had reached our floor. I couldn't help but gasp as Kai stepped out of the lift with the rest of the captains. He was, he was… dressed in swim shorts. _Only_ swim shorts! I could see his well-defined chest in glorious detail from here. I felt my cheeks immediately heat up in response, but I couldn't tear my gaze away. He was just so gorgeous and… scantily clad! Someone pass me a bucket, I think I'm drooling.

I should have listened to Mao, I really should, but my attentions were fully on Kai. I could make out some of what she was saying while I pretended to be listening intently, but faced with gawping at Kai's sexy body or Mao's stuttering problem, I'm afraid to say that I was leaning towards the former. I managed to grab a few words like 'elders', 'true love', 'agreement' and 'marriage', but that just led me off into a fantasy of me and Kai in a small chapel, swapping vows, for some reason though, _I_ was the one in the dress. Weird. I hastily turned my attention back to Mao when Kai looked directly at me, oops! Bad Rei!

"So what do you think?" she finished, once again expectant. She seemed so nervous, but Kai was walking this way. Seeking to comfort her I said the first rational thing I could think of:

"Yeah, sure"

Mao's eyes instantly lit up and she threw herself on me, wrapping her arms around my neck. I managed to pry her off me and mutter a distracted 'No problem' before I pulled myself out of the pool. She swam off like she was insane, yelling Lai's name, and I momentarily felt concern over what I'd just agreed too. I shrugged it off; whatever it was couldn't be too bad. I quickly walked over to where Kai and Yuriy were presently nibbling on various flavours of crisps, discussing something or other.

Kai was the first to notice me approaching them, but quickly looked away again, the tiniest of blushes gracing his cheeks. I slowed down, was it possible that-

"Rei- chan!" Yuriy called, grinning. "Get over here!" I smiled warmly back, before pausing again. I could've sworn that Kai just growled.

"Hey Yuriy, Kai" I said somewhat shyly. Yuriy only smiled smugly. I gulped inaudibly, knowing that my time was going to come- very, very soon. I just had to have one last minute pep- talk with Yuriy.

"Umm, Kai?" He looked back to me in question, his gaze locking with mine. I instantly felt my throat become dry. "I was w-wondring, if I could g-grab Yuriy for a minute" I inwardly groaned at my sudden inability to talk properly, but what Kai did next really surprised me. His expression instantly changed and he growled deep in his throat, there was no mistaking it this time, and it was aggressive too.

"Fine" he said through gritted teeth, "I wouldn't want to get in the way of you and your _boyfriend_." With that he spun around and stormed off. I only gawped, utterly shocked by the vehemence in his voice. I looked stupidly at Yuriy who looked just as confused as me, until it registered with both of us what Kai had just said. Yuriy bewilderedly looked at me and said

"Did he jut say-?"

"-**BOYFRIEND**?" I yelped. We instantly took off after him, just as he plunged into the water.

"Kai! **WAIT**!" I yelled, hoping that he would hear me below the water. I was starting to panic, God! Could this day get any _worse_?

As if in answer, the shrill voice of Mao suddenly cut through the air. I whirled around, eyes wide in shock. Everything paused. Even Kai re-surfaced.

"Hehe, I thought that would get everyone's' attention" She said shyly. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief before waiting for her to continue. Yuriy chose to take a gulp of his drink.

"I have a very important announcement to make. After talking to our village elders, and asking Rei what he thinks, I…" she trailed off, her eyes shining with unshed tears, yet she was beaming. What had she talked about to me again?

"I would like to announce that Rei and I are going to get married!" she yelled happily.

My body froze, eyes widening in horror, Yuriy had begun to choke on his drink and I am fairly sure that I could hear Kai trying not to drown behind me.

'_Rei and I are going to get married_…'

Oh **shit**!

My last comprehendible thought was how nice the ceiling tiles looked before everything went dark…

Didn't someone once say that curiosity killed the cat?

* * *


	7. Bonding

Enjoy

* * *

Ow… ow… OUCH? Why in the hell does my head hurt so much? You know, this sense that something terrible has happened, accompanied by a splitting headache is becoming far too familiar for my liking. 

Just like any normal person (which, believe me, I am) I can't remember the exact moment that I awoke, just a slowly dawning sense of awareness-, which in my case was a non-to-gentle thudding in my head. I moaned gently as I cracked open an eye, only to wince as bright light assaulted me. Of all days why did _this_ day have to be a nice day in Moscow? I sighed and bravely opened both this time, blinking rapidly in a futile attempt to adjust them. I closed my eyes once more feeling completely helpless.

'_What's going on_?' a tiny voice inside of me wailed, and for once I had no witty comeback. I felt… empty? I suppose that would be the best way to describe it. Devoid of all emotion but one- I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness as the events of the day slowly came back to me. All of the shit that I'd been through, all of the emotional trauma I'd bared, just for me to end up being written off as 'Yuriy's boyfriend' and Mao's 'fiancée'. Life really, couldn't _possibly_ get any worse. I squeezed my eyes closed once again, trying to stop myself from crying. I am ashamed at how many tears I have shed today, and somehow that stubborn pride stopped all but a single tear from making a warm trail down my face.

"Rei?"

My eyes flew open in shock and I shot up in bed, startled by the fact that I hadn't noticed that someone was in the room with me. Unfortunately, like I learned earlier this morning, sitting up very fast only aids in making a bad headache ten times worse. I flinched once again from the overwhelming pain in my head.

"Oh, o-ow!" I moaned unintentionally bringing my hands to my temples. I barely noticed the mattress shift with a new weight, but the warmth of a gentle touch on my face made me re- open my eyes. I blinked in surprise.

Kai had moved from his sentry next to my bed and was now sitting next to me, my face in his hands, concernedly searching me with his beautiful mahogany coloured eyes. His gaze met mine and I instantly felt my cheeks heat up from this unexpected closeness, I suddenly felt very hot, his touch making my cheeks tingle. What in Gods' name was he doing?

"Kai?" I breathed.

We both blinked, the moment gone, the trance broken. Kai snatched his hands away and to my surprise looked suddenly unsure. He shrugged slightly and leaned back, the embarrassment gone as quickly as it had appeared, leaving me to wonder if I'd imagined it- after all, it does feel like I've been hit be a sledgehammer, maybe I have concussion.

"You took quite a nasty bump to the head, Rei." He said once he was sitting more comfortably.

"I did?" I replied, somewhat bewildered, not noticing the fact that I had subconsciously moved to rub my head until a sharp pain caused me to hiss.

"Yes" He answered with a hint of amusement while swatting my hand away, "You collapsed on the tiles next to the pool, and now you have a nice bump to prove it." He finished a lazy half smile on his face.

Despite myself I smiled back, amused –for now- by my own shortcomings. You may be shocked into thinking that Kai's had a personality transplant, but to be honest, I'm quite used to Kai's witty sarcasm and lazy smiles. I noticed a while ago that he allows himself to relax more around me then the other members of his team, and I take great pride in it. I suppose though, it's because he values me as a good friend… damn.

"Rei…" Kai started, drawing my attention back to him. He looked worried again, which is not usually a good sign. He also doesn't usually speak so softly- something's defiantly wrong. He opened his moth to speak, before shutting it again and frowning at me- very un-Kai like. Damn, I'm becoming nervous.

"Rei…" He said after what seemed like an eternity "Why the Hell did you agree to marry Mao?" I blushed and looked away as if by avoiding eye contact I could avoid the question. Kai was silent for a moment, but I knew and he knew that he wasn't going to let this drop, after all, Kai is not the kind of person who will give up on something, is he?

"Look Rei, you can do whatever you want, but judging by your horrified reaction to the news, I would guess that you're not exactly happy with this situation are you? And besides I didn't think you liked girls." I stared at the wall, absorbing all that Kai was saying, everything right as always, it's like a really annoying power that he has. I swear that he's going to be a Jedi master someday. He was even right about the last part, about me not liking g- **oh my God**! I paled, like always realisation setting in like a delayed reaction.

"_What_?" I squeaked whirling around to face him. How the hell did he-

"In _that_ way anyway" he interrupted, before dropping his gaze to the bed covers, suddenly looking very awkward, if that was even possible. "Well- at least I thought…" He muttered. I stared at his fine features, loving everything about him and decided to be what everyone told me I was- brave.

"How did you know?" I mumbled, he looked up at me, allowing his surprise to show.

"So you're-" Kai mused.

"Do you hate me?" I asked earnestly, trying to look as cute as possible (or pathetic, depending on how you look at it). Kai stared at me and I shuddered involuntarily, it seemed that he could see right through me. He frowned, which is a better reaction then I would have expected before shaking his head and sighing.

"Why on Earth would I hate you, Rei?" He asked sadly. I suddenly felt as bad as I had this morning with Yuriy. I had underestimated someone again, only this time it was the one I loved. I suddenly felt like a bad person. Yuriy had been right to tell me to have more then a little faith in Kai. I sighed myself and met Kai's gaze, feeling the need to explain myself.

"Sorry, I just thought you'd have a problem with what I am that's all." I said giving Kai a wan smile. Kai, to my surprise smiled back before nodding slightly.

"I know," he said shrugged "most idiots would." I nodded slowly, heart leaping at Kai's acceptance. I smiled once again, tilting my head happily.

"What are you so happy about?" Kai asked amusedly, smiling slightly.

"Thanks, it just means a lot to me, that's all." I replied, still smiling dopily.

"Hn." He grunted in response, "At the end of the day, you were a great blader before I knew of your sexuality, and you sure as hell still _are_ a great blader. I'm not stupid, Rei, and neither am I narrow minded. I don't care _what_ you are as long as my team is happy. _That_ is my duty to you." The words were spoken without emotion, but his eyes betrayed him. They always did. He got up to leave the room, muttering about how I needed to rest; yet I knew I had to do something. I couldn't just let him finish the conversation like this.

"Kai, wait!" I said flinging myself forwards to grab his hand. Unfortunately, I missed and ended up spread- eagled on the bed. I landed with a surprised '_oof_' and looked up bewildered when I heard Kai chuckling quietly. He walked back and helped me sit back up, shaking his head in amusement.

"Do you really have to be so dramatic, Rei? Think of your poor head." He grinned and patted my hair for further emphasis. I would have smiled back, but I needed to ask him something. It doesn't matter if he doesn't think of me in a romantic way, but I still needed to know that I was more to him then just a team- mate, just another member of his team.

"Kai?" I asked gently.

His amused expression already gone he looked concernedly at me. "Yeah?"

"W- we _are_ friends. Aren't we? It's just that you never really seem to like people being nice to you, and I'm worried that you think that friends are just a waste of time." I asked, not caring how childish I sounded. He looked away for a moment, as if really thinking about what I had said. A moment later he turned back and sat back down next to me, smiling slightly.

"Of course we're friends you dopey sod. Fair enough I don't usually come across as Mr. Sensitive, but the _last_ thing I'd ever consider you as would be a waste of my time." He said the last part more gently then the rest. I met his eyes, feeling the familiar stirrings of a blush rise to my cheeks. Was I imagining it, or was he getting closer to me?

"Really?" I barely managed to whisper.

"Really." he mumbled back, and this time I was sure of it. He was slowly leaning towards me, almost as if… I felt hot all of a sudden.

'_Is Kai going to kiss me_?' I thought madly. My heart was hammering in my chest, so loud that I'm sure that he could hear it. My mind went into over- drive, considering that if I read this wrong I was going to be in a shit load of trouble, but if I read this right… You know what? To Hell with thinking! It's never gotten me very far anyway. I felt my body reacting of its own accord, shyly moving forward while my eyes slowly started to close. I could feel his warm breath fluttering across my face, only inches away. The space slowly closed at an achingly slow pace. Just one little jolt would bring our lips crashing together, sealing our mouths together in the embrace I craved.

"Hey Rei!" Takao shouted slamming the door open, just as Kai jumped away from me. I gasped in shock as Takao bounded in.

"Rei! Man! Were we ever _worried_ about you! You just fainted and- you okay, man? You look flushed." he said with concern, interrupting his own babble. I tried to answer but the only thing I managed to succeed in was staring wide eyed from Kai to Takao and back to Kai again. Even greater surprise came when I realised that Kai was leaning against the wall, like usual, his emotionless mask fixed in place. I frowned, being the only response I could muster as bewilderment threatened to overwhelm me.

'_Did that actually happen?_' I asked myself, '_did Kai just go to kiss me or was that just another pathetic fantasy_?' My mind reeled- I knew that I had hit my head hard, but not **that** hard. God! This is all so confusing!

I took me a minute to realise that Takao was staring at me before I realised that he had come to check up on me.

"Rei?" he prompted.

"Yes, I-I'm fine, honestly, but thanks for caring so much." I stuttered. He looked at me like I was stupid for about half a minute before he turned and went to leave.

"Of course we worried, you're our friend" He said offhandedly as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I watched him leave with a slight frown, honestly not knowing whether I wanted to strangle him or hug him. That one boy has either ruined the best moment of my so far mostly uneventful life or saved me from certain doom if I had realised too late that Kai was just trying to fluff my pillow. Unfortunately, looking at Kai now, I had no way of telling if he was trying to make a move on me. He is annoyingly good at remaining unreadable, even to my trained eyes.

My thoughts were jolted when Takao reappeared, poking his head around the door.

"Hey, Rei, Yuriy's here to see how you are." I smiled and nodded as he closed the door again, presumably to fetch him. I turned my attention back to Kai, determined to say something- anything to figure out what the Hell was going on between us- only to find that he had shoved himself from the wall and was making his way to the door.

"Kai? Where are you going?" I asked out of curiosity. To my surprise he swung around to face me. For a moment he looked almost angry, but it was quickly replaced by a smile, well it was really more of a sneer. I knew instantly that I shouldn't have said anything.

"Well, Rei I really wouldn't want to get in the way of you and Yuriy" He said, voice dripping with sarcasm. I instantly felt my eyes narrow, was he implying that Yuriy and I were _together_ again? And why was he saying it in such a mocking tone?

I felt my eyes slit in anger. I can take a lot, I mean I'm an easygoing guy, but _nobody_ takes the piss out of me.

"Look, Kai," I growled, "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but me and Yuriy are **not** a couple." I finished, putting stress on the not. However to my anger dissolved when Kai grunted and stalked towards the door of our room. He wrenched open the door and turned back to face me, allowing me a rare opportunity to see him without his mask. He was angry, really angry.

"You know what? You can be Yuriy's little fuck- toy for all I care, just don't let it interfere with your blading!" He hissed before slamming the door behind him.

I'm sure that my jaw hit the bed covers, as I gaped at the now closed door, trying to comprehend what had just occurred. All I could hear were the carefully selected words '_fuck- toy'_. I growled as my anger returned tenfold. How dare he imply that _I'm_ a _slut?_

I must have looked pretty pissed off, because the first thing that Yuriy said as he walked in was; "What the Hell did Kai just say to you?"

Oh Joy. Where to start?

* * *

I pray for no mistakes. It's going to take me forever to do the next three chapters ; 


	8. Memories and resolutions

Changing Yuri/ Yuuri to Yuriy is extremely hard. I apologised if one snuck past me.

* * *

It's been about three minutes since I had finished talking and Yuriy was _still_ staring blankly at me. To be fair, he's reacted pretty much the same way as I did, except with a little less anger on his part.

Speaking of my anger, re-telling our little 'episode' had -to my surprise- dulled it somewhat, leaving me feeling more annoyed then enraged. The fact that Yuriy and I had been sitting in silence while I patiently awaited his response also helped dissipate my most of my excess anger, only to be replaced by boredom. I think I must have an attention disorder, I'm already coming down from the high that my anger provided and sitting for –I glanced at the clock radio on my bedside table- 5 minutes in silence, I couldn't help but feel slightly bored.

I sighed (loudly might I add) partially because of my wounded pride caused by what Kai had said to me and partially in hope that it would catch Yuriy's attention in my own 'subtle' way. Yuriy didn't even shift his eyes from the wall. Wow, he must be _really_ deep in thought not to hear that.

I started to feel unsettled, unable to fathom what the hell was occupying Yuriy's mind space so much that it would take this long to reply. It's been seven minutes now and I don't think I can take this uncomfortable silence for much longer. No. Make that _won't_ take it for much longer.

"Yuriy!" I whined, "Are you actually going to say anything or are you going to stare at the wall all day?"

Yuriy –bless him- snapped out of his daze and looked at me with bleary eyes, making him look like he had just woken up. In fact I think he _has_ just woken up.

"Sorry," he mumbled, frowning slightly. With no clue of how to keep this 'conversation' going I didn't reply. Silence fell upon us again. Looks like we're back at square one.

Yuriy looked up at me again still frowning and opened his mouth to speak.

"Rei- chan…" he started before falling silent again. I waited expectantly, eagerly awaiting his words of wisdom. "Rei…" he started again, "are you _sure_ that, that's what Kai said to you?" I stared at him in disbelief as my cheeks flushed irritably.

"You mean to tell me," I said slowly, "that you have been sitting on my bed in silence for the past eight minutes wondering if I heard Kai wrong?" I finished with barely controlled anger. Yuriy's eyebrows rose in response and he opened his mouth to answer.

"You honestly think that I misheard 'fuck- toy'?" I continued, too annoyed to let him speak. "Tell me Yuriy, what the hell else sounds like 'fuck- toy?' W-"

"Duck toy?" Yuriy interrupted, smirking. My eyes widened a moment before I continued my ranting.

"You think that I'm fucking _joking_?" I cried, not caring how much my voice had risen, "You think that Kai would call me your little '_duck toy'_? This isn't funny, Yuriy, much as my life may seem like a joke at the moment! Goddamn it! Why is everything in my life so screwed up?" I seethed.

"Whoa Rei!" Yuri soothed raising his hands in defence, "Eyes." He stated.

I blinked in confusion before realising that in my agitation, my pupils had constricted into small slits. Something I do unconsciously when I am either extremely angry or extremely frightened. It must be a 'fight or flight' thing, I just know that it bloody hurts to maintain it for long periods of time.

I sighed and allowed them to return to normal, while I reigned in my run away emotions. Motivation left me as my sudden adrenaline surge dissipated, leaving me feeling a sense of tiredness wash over me. Sighing heavily, I slumped back onto the pillows.

"Looks like you really needed that." Yuriy commented gently, before getting up and moving further up the bed in order to sit next to me. I sniffled slightly in response and looked away, stiffening when I felt a hand stroking my hair. I looked back to Yuriy questioningly before relaxing into the soothing touch of his hand and the gentle smile on his face. "My, my." He mumbled softly, "you've certainly been on one hell of an emotional rollercoaster today, haven't you Rei- chan?"

Empathy is a new thing to Yuriy, yet for someone so inexperienced with emotions, he's certainly doing a good job. All I could do was nod and snuggle closer to him, enjoying the warmth radiating from him. To my surprise he pulled me into his arms, never once pausing in stroking my hair. I settled into this unexpected embrace before deciding on doing the right thing and admitting defeat.

"Yuriy?" I mumbled. He pulled back in response, eyes curious. I looked once again at the bed covers before continuing. "I- I'm so sorry" I whispered, before looking back at Yuriy, who to my surprise, looked confused.

"Whatever for?" he questioned.

"For yelling at you" I mumbled guiltily, "and thinking that you were going to betray my trust and for getting you in Kais' bad books. You've been through nearly as much shit as I have today, and it's all my fault!" I rushed.

Yuriy only chuckled. "Rei- chan." He sighed once he'd finished. "What else are best friends for, if not to be there to help bear emotional stress?" His voice floated down. His hand paused in its soothing task and I looked back up at him only to find that he was thinking once again. He shook his head before smiling gently and continuing.

"While…" I could see that he was struggling to keep his smile in place, "While I was a little younger and in the Abbey, I was one of the only boys rebellious enough to stand up for themselves. Others, mostly the little'uns were weaker than me in spirit and in body, and so, didn't stand a chance against the gruelling regimes and the constant bullying. I eventually grew tired of this and in sympathy, used to stand up for them. In the end I gained the trust and respect of a few who seemed to form a group and would follow me around, knowing that I would look after them." Yuriy paused to take a deep breath while I stared at him in rapt fascination, secretly shocked that Yuriy was telling me about his past, something I was sure that he would never reveal. He licked his lips in thought before continuing his ministrations on my hair. I felt disappointment flood through me, saddened that he had stopped his tale. It must have showed on my face, because even though he was looking intently at the wall seemingly lost in thought he turned back to me and flashed me a grin before continuing with his story.

"They became a family to me, those kids, and I found myself needing them as much, if not more then they needed me. I relished in their attentions and loved them back as much as they loved me. In the end they dubbed me their 'Big brother'." He chuckled at the memory, "'Big brother', their big brother. It used to make me puff my chest out with pride. I swear that I used to look like a cockerel." We laughed at the mental image before it subsided and the atmosphere became subdued once again.

"Y'know, during the short time Kai was there, he did the same thing." he mused

I cocked my head in curiosity. "Same thing?" I echoed.

"Yeah, he used to look after the weaker ones too. He would lead them, although he was never as warm as me. He was like a real big brother- caring yet never shy of giving out the occasional glare or insulting comment."

"Probably explains why he handles Takao so well." I grinned.

"Probably." Yuriy smiled back yet it faded quickly as he continued. "I used to do everything I could for those kids, but in the end even I wasn't strong enough to be there when they needed me. God knows what happened to them after those scientists took me away and changed me…" he trailed off sadly, before taking in a deep breath and smiling at me. "Ah well," He shrugged, "that's a story for another day." He finished, forcing out a smile.

I regarded him intently feeling not only pity well up inside of me, but a deep sense of shame. How is it that I could be so unhappy with my life when my best friend had been through more horror then most adults had witnessed? How is it that he can smile and laugh and live his life to the fullest when I was wallowing in self- pity?

I felt a smile tugging at my lips, strange when you consider my dark thoughts, but then, I rationed, why not smile? Why not feel pride over my friends' achievements?

I felt myself relax once again into the masterful way his hands played absentmindedly with my hair. My eyelids seemed to become heavier by the moment as contentment washed over me. I was sure to drift off at any moment if not for the sudden shaking of Yuriy's chest. Blinking confusedly I looked up at him, trying to work out why my nice pillow had suddenly felt like a small tremor, only to face Yuriy- who had an extremely evil grin plastered on his face. He was biting back a laugh for God knows whatever reason. What did I do now?

"What?" I whined, completely oblivious as to why Yuriy would have a reason for laughing at me. Unfortunately, his grin only widened, his eyes sparkling in mischief.

"Well Rei," he managed to say seriously "I was wondering if you'll make that kind of noise when Kai _finally_ gets you into his bed." He said before his composure broke down and he burst out laughing.

Dismayed, I only stared at him slowly recalling what noise he was talking about- I had been purring. I blushed a deep red when his words hit home, just _what_ was he implying?

"Yuriy!" I shouted in embarrassment, pulling away from his arms while leaping off the bed. He of course, being the psycho that he is, only laughed harder.

"Or would it be more of an 'Ooooh, Kai!', 'I _love_ you sooooooo much, Kai' sort of thing?" he chocked out.

All I could do was blush harder and glare at him as best I could… not that he could see me. His eyes were squeezed shut.

"Or maybe," he managed while gasping for breath, "it will be 'Take me, Kai-koi!', 'Ooooh _faster_, Kai-koi!" he moaned before doubling over lost in his own hilarious fantasy world. Until now I didn't think it was possible, but I think that my face is glowing.

"Yuriy!" I admonished, a little harsher then I had intended. Yuriy opened his eyes to glance at me, and, seeing how flustered I was managed to get enough control over himself that he could sit up straight- although his constant shuddering told me that he was no where near finished finding it funny.

I sighed dramatically and rolled my eyes before turning my back to his persistent giggles and routing around in one of my draws. I heard Yuriy quieten down behind me and the shifting of bedsprings announced that the Russian boy was sliding over to me, to see what I was up to. Nosey sod.

"Rei?" he asked curiosity obvious in his voice, "Watcha doin'?"

As he spoke those words my hands came across the very thing that I was looking for. I turned back to Yuriy a triumphant grin upon my face as I held up what I had been seeking. Yuriy's reaction was just what I needed. With a low whistle of appreciation he gingerly reached forward and took the garment form my hands holding it up for his own inspection.

"This is nice Rei, very nice," he turned his eyes directly onto me "but how in God's name did you afford such a gorgeous outfit?" he finished, handing the robe back to me.

"Well," I replied while looking at the floor, "this really famous make wanted to sponsor me as their sort of…" I trailed off not sure of which word to use.

"Mascot?" Yuriy supplied.

I nodded. "Yeah mascot. They said that I had a lot of fans and was, umm…" I broke off suddenly shy.

"Gorgeous?" Yuriy suggested.

"Kinda, yeah." I admitted, "I turned them down of course."

"Why?" Yuriy spluttered suddenly, "It would get you even more noticed, plus think off all the free clothes and stylist sessions and stuff!"

I shook my head in response. "I'm no model Yuriy," I insisted "I'm a sportsman, first and foremost. Plus I'm way too shy." I added.

"You prat! You've got no need to be shy!" he sighed, "Oh well. At least you got to keep that outfit, God I bet you look _amazing_ in that. The colour will look stunning with your eyes and hair, and the cut is so… so… _you_." He finished, grinning. I stuck my tongue out in response but grinned slyly in return.

"Well that's what I'm hoping Yuriy- nii," He pulled a face at the big brother reference, "After all if Kai thinks I'm such a whore then why not live up to his expectations, eh?"

Yuriy frowned at my comment before looking at me with concern. "Act like one…?" he questioned, a protective note distinct in his voice. I hit him on the head.

"I'm not actually going to whore myself off, you idiot!" I squeaked indignantly. I quickly switched to a lower voice "I'm just going to convince Kai that he's not the only one who can decide on who I actually am." I sashayed over to the mirror, holding my lovely black Chinese top to my chest. I grinned to Yuriy reflection.

"I'll make Kai sorry for ever dismissing me."

Time I show Kai what's what.

* * *

Only two more chapters left ;o;! 


	9. The 'perfect' ending to a 'perfect' day

Nearly done.

The climax is upon us all! Once again, I say: Enjoy!

* * *

I must say, I'm impressed. It's not that I'm narcissistic, it's just that I'm not really sure that that's me in the mirror. I tentatively reached forwards, trailing my fingers over the smooth surface, absorbed by the fact that I looked so different, so… unlike me.

I jerked back in surprise when a pair of blue eyes suddenly appeared over my shoulder, peering at me in the mirror. Resting his chin on my shoulder, I could see Yuriy flick his gaze from my reflection to me. After a second he raised his head and lifted his hand to gently pat me on the head.

"You look nice." he said affectionately. I merely raised an eyebrow in response.

"Why is it, I get a whole family in the shape of one friend?" I teased. Yuriy only stared back, clearly not understanding. I rolled my eyes.

"Well," I explained, counting my points off on my fingers, "so far I've had the fatherly advice, the protective older brother and now the loving mother makes her appearance. What next Yuu- nii? Oops… make that; Mrs. Kuznetsov?" I grinned in amusement, using my newly gained knowledge to my advantage. Somewhere in-between my getting changed I had finally gotten Yuriy to give up the identity of his secret crush- much to my delight. As it is, he too is totally ga-ga over a mean- spirited, slightly sadistic Russian. I felt safe in the knowledge that I wasn't the only one.

"Awww! Come on Yuu- nii! I'm sure he's not _that_ homophobic!" I laughed, referring to Boris's 'apparent' dislike of gay people. I just think that he's not getting any of what he wants- it's called jealousy. Yuriy, however just snorted in response mumbling something about 'Rei' and 'Idiots' before diverting his attention to his pocket, finally fishing out what seemed to be a small black stick. He waved it in front of my face, his usual deranged grin back in place.

"Time for the finishing touch!" He announced still waving it around. I reached forward and plucked whatever had gotten Yuriy so excited from his hand in order to see what it actually was. As soon as I had read the gold lettering my glare found its way back to my not- so- stable friend.

"What?" He shrugged trying to look 'innocent' (which might I add, he can't). As per usual, he was completely unfazed by my obvious annoyance.

"Yuriy." I stated calmly, "I know that I'm open minded and all, but there is no way in hell that I'm wearing make up." Yuriy rolled his eyes in response as if I was some kind of simpleton.

"Rei, babycakes, its only eyeliner" he explained as if that would be enough to justify it. It wasn't.

"I know _that_, moron." I huffed, trying to defend my pride, "but I'm still not wearing it and that's final."

"Why?" Yuriy asked honestly. The simple-ness of it struck me.

I sighed once again. "It's just that people think that I'm feminine enough as it is. What the hell would they think if I turned up in bloody make up?" I explained.

Once again Yuriy's reply was simple, yet thought- provoking. "Why should you care what 'they' think?" I paused, suddenly thoughtful. Damn it! He's done it again. That boy has far too much wisdom for his own good. I sighed in defeat.

"I shouldn't, I know." Yuriy smiled gently, "but I still don't like the idea of wearing it, I mean there's looking gay and there's looking too gay." I muttered miserably. Yuriy 'hummed', cocking his head in thought, before his eyes lit up. You could almost see the proverbial light bulb top his head ping on. I was in trouble and I knew it.

"Rei, do you think that Jack Sparrow looks too gay?"

Too late to stop myself I immediately took on a dreamy look. "No" I sighed, "that is a man and a half." God, now _he_ is a sex-god, almost on a par with_ my_ Kai. Yuriy's grin was triumphant, I realised too late that I was trapped.

"Strange," he mused, "see, _he_ wears eyeliner, yet most people think that that only heightens his sex- appeal. Hmmmn, must be a coincidence." He smirked. I puffed out my cheeks sulkily; I already knew that I was going to yield, more importantly so did he.

"Fine." I sighed after a moment of silence, "Do it." I raised a hand to stop him before he descended upon me.

"Just one thing." I frowned. Yuriy cocked his head in silent question. "Why do you have eyeliner in your pocket?" He looked at me for a second in confusion, before smiling enigmatically and clapping his hands. He proceeded to take off the lid, obviously ignoring my question and looking remarkably like a teenage girl in the process. I felt my annoyance drain away.

"I stand corrected," I smirked as he began. "It appears that I have a big sister too." I received a smack on the head for that one.

* * *

The doors pinged open, heralding our arrival to 'The Basement', the literal and wholly unoriginal name of the hotels nightclub. I squinted from the dual effects of the thudding bass that assaulted my ears, and the dazzling beams of light, which happened to pick the moment I left the lift to shine directly into my eyes. I stumbled backwards, partially due to the fact that I was temporary blinded and partially because I was suddenly freaking out- I do not want to do this anymore. Predictably I only managed to stumble into Yuriy, who in turn clamped his hands onto my shoulders and steered me out of the lift and into the hall itself. I twisted my neck in order to look back at him- and to subtly offer the pathetic 'Bambi' eyed look.

"No." Was all I got in return. I pulled a face and humphed, straightening my back and sauntering forwards.

"Fine then." I muttered, my pride not allowing me to look like I was trying to escape like a coward. I carried onwards unaware where exactly I was heading, but at least looking like I did. Scowling slightly, I pushed my way through the seething mass of humanity that was the party. Slapping away hands that reached for my silk- covered behind and sending the odd glare to any innocent kids who got in my way and the load of girls (and quite a few guys) that were eyeing me up, determined to act as disinterested as possible. I wanted to look moody, for people to back away from me, for them to wonder why 'Rei was so different all of a sudden'. I felt the need for me to adopt an air of 'darkness' about me- all to prove something to myself and more importantly, to _him_. You may wonder what that point is, but for some reason something inside of me changed when Kai said what he said. I feel the need to prove that this stupid 'nice, friendly and totally normal guy' perception that everyone has of me is bullshit. I'm not just a doormat and I'm not always prepared to keep the group going- whether is through my mediation or my cooking. There's more to me then people think, my thoughts are far more complex then they seem to believe I'm capable of and the worst thing of all is that I finally have to acknowledge is that people are always taking advantage of me, and I do nothing but encourage it. Tonight was different. Tonight, I was going to be 'different', and if that meant acting like I don't give a damn, then so be it. Of course tonight would probably be when this new style of thinking fizzled out, but ah well, live for the moment and all that.

I blinked realising that during pondering I had somehow gravitated towards the bar… the irony was enough to make me laugh out loud (much to the bemusement of the people standing next to me). This very bar -or more precisely the alcohol it distributed- was the very reason that I had suffered a day so traumatic that you could make a box-office smash hit out of it. I shook my head in amusement while I thought about my options. I could either get wasted enough to make this hellish day disappear or I could dance. I already knew. Despite the fact that I am all _too_ aware that the effects of alcohol are partially why I'm in this mess to begin with, I didn't so much as hesitate in pulling up a chair and calling the Bartender over.

"Back so soon?" He shouted over the thundering of the music. I gave him a half- hearted smile before he sniffed and continued. "I wasn't sure it was you, but I doubt anyone else could have such lovely eyes." He grinned. My eyes widened at his compliment but he just shrugged spreading his hands in a hopeless gesture obviously trying to defend his honour. I found myself laughing at the gesture, my unease gone, as his grin grew wider. He was really cute when he smiled. "So what you havin'?" He asked. I paused to think for a moment before replying.

"Well after last night, I think I should lay off the vodka. It'd probably make me ill anyway." I chuckled. "Get me a Whiskey?"

He nodded and went to turn around in order to serve me as a second thought popped into my head. "Double" I called. I saw him nod, indicating that he had heard me. He quickly returned with my beverage, setting it down in front of me and giving me a wink.

"This one's on me, at least then it's legal." He winked, "Alas, I must serve the other people. Don't go leaving me without saying good bye." He smirked, before wandering off serve the demands of the other customers. I watched him leave slightly confused- how is it that last night I got away with 18, yet tonight- when I've really made an effort- I got caught out? Another thought hit me. Did I imagine it or was that guy hitting on me? I sighed; well at least _someone_ appreciated me.

"You're certainly popular tonight." A familiar voice sounded behind me. I tensed up before narrowing my eyes and swinging around on my seat to face him.

Kai was staring at me, an unreadable expression on his face. I stared back instantly feeling all of the hurt come crashing back, I gulped attempting to quell it before I remembered a very important fact- tonight I was the new Rei, and tonight I wasn't going to let people walk all over me without saying something. My eyes narrowed again- this time in anger.

"Ah but, Kai," I said in mock modesty "I'm _always_ popular, however I wouldn't _dream_ of betraying my _beloved_ Yuriy- oh wait. You know what? I think I'm in the mood to be someone else's ride for tonight, being the _fuck-toy_ that I am." I hissed. To my surprise Kai suddenly looked almost guilty. His eyes found the floor and he sighed. After a moment he looked back up at me and reached forwards pulling out a chair and sitting himself down next to me. An uneasy silence fell upon us and in an attempt to occupy myself I began to swish the liquid of my drink around.

"Are you really going to drink that, after what you were like last night?" Kai smirked. Still angry I took it as a challenge (well I was in a 'do everything you can to prove Kai wrong' kind of mood) and snorted before bringing the glass to my mouth and pouring all down my throat in one gulp, tilting my head back in order to get it all in. I gasped after it had gone down and slammed the glass back onto the bar. I felt heat flow into my stomach. I turned back to Kai to see how he would react to my little display of rebellion. To my surprise, however his smirk had been replaced by a look of disappointment. I thought I was the source of his expression, but I was proved wrong when he spoke.

"Rei…" he cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable. "Look, what I said was… it was uncalled for and I'm." He looked down again, almost ashamed. "I'm sorry." He mumbled.

My first thought was that the drink had already taken its effect; however, the pain in his eyes when he looked up at me again was so raw that I almost instantly forgot why I was so mad at him in the first place.

"Kai." I started gently. He immediately met my gaze and I once again felt the familiar stirrings of a blush. We stayed like that for a few moments; my mind- for once- not interfering and making me act like an idiot. My breath caught in my throat when I noticed how the lights made his eyes shine and how his soft silver hair framed his face. He was so perfect right then, like a fallen angel, bathed in the not-quite-as-romantic-but-still-nice artificial light of the nightclub. I felt my hand twitch in longing for him, to run my hands through his hair and to feel the softness of his skin. I swallowed sharply uncomfortable in the knowledge that he was having a greater affect on my body then just making my heart thud like I was running a marathon. Yet despite potential embarrassment, I could not look away. I was quite simply entranced. Why Kai was gazing right back? I suddenly became aware of the fact that Kai's chest was rising and falling just as rapidly as mine. Maybe, oh God, just _maybe_…

"Kai," I breathed, unable to stop myself from saying what I knew was coming. He smiled gently at me as my heart began to hammer even harder in anticipation of what I was about to say… what I needed to tell him. My voice came as a whisper and the way in which his eyes widened told me that maybe he had figured out what was coming.

"I…I-I really, really am sorry but I-I can't-"

"REI!" a voice screeched.

I twisted around with an expression that may have looked like a cross between the incredible hulk being told that he's ugly and a small child who's just been told that mommy's never coming home. Yeah, not pretty I'd imagine. The most awful yet cringingly predictable thing had happened. Let me edit that- Mao had happened- right in the Goddamned middle of my perfect moment. It's safe to say that if I hadn't been so heartbroken I would have probably strangled her out of sheer frustration.

"Rei!" she cried again before propelling herself into me, wrapping her arms around my waist and burying her head into my chest in one fluid motion. I winced as I was slammed back against the bar.

"Oh Rei!" she cried- wait cried? Oh God! Don't tell me she's crying! I rolled my eyes as she continued to mumble away into my shirt making no effort to comfort her. I was already fed up enough with her; the last thing I wanted to do was give her the impression that everything was fine. I glanced over to Kai, worried at whether he had figured out what I was about to say to him, only to find that he was staring at Mao with a murderous look upon his face. I smiled, strangely comforted by his apparent fury at her intervention. I twitched though when I felt the wetness of her tears seep through. She'd better not ruin this shirt.

"I was so worried about you Rei! I thought that you were seriously injured or something! No one would tell me anything! I kept telling them that you'd want me by my side, but your cruel bastard of a leader wouldn't let me in! He told me that it was my fault and that he didn't want me to make you feel any worse! I can't believe that he wouldn't even let someone who really loves you to be there for you, even after we announced our engagement!" I continued to glare off into the distance, only half listening to her muffled babbling. At her reference to Kai keeping her away from me I sent a grateful smile to him, which seemed to wipe away his scowl and caused him to smile back at me, nodding in understanding. He got up then and wondered away, probably bored. I watched his retreating back, feeling my heart sink once again. My opportunity for tonight had come and gone. I let out a heavy sigh, sinking back into my chair as Mao finally let go of me, wiping her eyes daintily. She sent a grin my way before plopping onto my lap. I grunted and closed my eyes sudden weight on my legs, praying that she didn't move up any higher- the last thing I want is uncomfortable questions- or worse- Mao thinking that she turns me on. Luckily she never had a chance to because she chose that moment to open her big mouth.

"Well I'm glad that we finally managed to get rid of him." she said haughtily. My eyes snapped open again.

"What?" I hissed. Mao twisted her head around to look at me, confused at my sudden anger.

"I saw him here with you and I figured that he was probably being annoying so I came to save you. Did I tell you how _amazingly_ sexy you look tonight?" She grinned cheerfully. Apparently, I did not find it as funny as she did.

"**WHAT**?" I exploded. "You WHAT? You thought that you would save me?" I yelled, leaping to my feet and successfully getting the little pink-haired hell spawn off my lap. Mao's eyes widened to the size of saucers, obviously shocked at my sudden rage.

"Rei? What's the problem? I only-" she started timidly. I however wasn't going to give her a chance to defend herself. She had intentionally ruined the only thing that could have saved this nightmare of a day from being the worst day of my life.

"Shut up!" I snapped, "Just shut up!" I was aware that a crowd was starting to form around us. Mao had apparently noticed this too, her eyes darting wildly from person to person.

"Rei, baby, I was only trying to help, I-I don't understand!" She cried, her eyes shining with welling tears. At any other time and at any other place, I would have beaten anyone who had made Mao cry to a bloody pulp. This time though, I didn't give a damn. I didn't care if she cried or if I broke her heart. All I want is to be understood. That all I want. I don't care if people don't like who I truly am. I just want them to know.

"You don't understand Mao?" I seethed; my hands fisted at my sides- the only physical display of my inner turmoil. "You don't understand?" I repeated a little louder, noticing that more people had joined the growing crowd. My expression changed, I allowed my eyes to relax and dilate back to their normal state. I lowered my head, smiling sadly and shaking my head.

"No, you don't understand." I whispered, more to myself then Mao. I looked up again and spoke louder this time.

"You really have no idea about who I am, do you?" I looked around at the familiar and non-familiar faces of the crowd, noting that all of the BBA Revolution and Neo Borg were present. Kai was standing next to Yuriy, looking openly bemused; Yuriy was staring at me, looking extremely worried. He was giving me the '_don't do anything stupid_' expression. I smiled to myself, knowing already that it was too late for that.

"None of you do." I continued, "None of you know _anything_ about me, you all just assume that I'm straightforward, that I like being a doormat. In fact you probably think that I'm not aware of it." I paused for a breath before continuing, my voice rising, "You all think that I'm _happy_ and that I'm _open_. You all think that nothing of importance goes on inside my head. You seem to think that I'm nothing special, that I'm _just_ another guy! I know I'm not the greatest blader in the world, or especially emotional, but did any of you ever think that I'm just as good at disguising my feelings as Kai? Did you ever think that maybe I'm not such an open book? The only person in this room, who even slightly 'gets' me, is Yuriy! Because he makes an effort. He's stuck by me in what can only be described as the most awful day that I could ever comprehend having, and most importantly, he talks to me. He actually bothers to ask for my opinion on things." I swung my attention back to Mao.

"And seriously Mao. What dreamland do you live in? When have I _ever_ given the impression that I'm attracted to you? I call you my little sister for God's sake! What on _earth_ would make you think that I'd want to _marry_ you?"

"But you said-" she whispered

"I know what I said." I sighed sadly, "and more importantly, I didn't know what _you _said. I'm so sorry Mao but I wasn't paying attention to what you were saying in the swimming pool."

"S-so you mean…" she sniffled through tears, yet she wasn't finished with me yet. She looked back up at me with a half glare, half pleading look. "I-is it s-someone else?" she sobbed. I looked down again, sighing heavily.

"Yes Mao. I do love somebody else, but it's nothing that you can help, you see the one I love is-"

"Him." Kai spat suddenly, pointing at Yuriy. Everyone looked to Kai and gasped in amazement. Mao looked like she was going to be sick, and I'm fairly sure that I was close to fainting again.

Surprisingly Yuriy found his voice first. "_What_?" he cried. I merely watched, too horrified to even speak.

Takao, looking from me to Yuriy like he was watching a tennis match, chose that moment to point out the obvious. "Whoa, Rei! You're gay dude?" Everyone gawped at me in shock, obviously just figuring it out for themselves.

"You evil son of a bitch." Yuriy spat, causing all of us to turn our attentions back to the current glaring match going on between the two Russian captains.

"Don't try to deny it, Yuriy, _especially_ after that little speech Rei made." Kai sneered back.

"Why are so fucking _dense_, Kai? Or can't you see past your own ego? Me and Rei are not together!" He yelled.

"Well it's not like _you_ deserve him anyway." Kai growled.

"What? And _you_ do?" Yuriy snapped. Something about that triggered Kai off. He growled savagely and lunged at the other boy, wrapping his hands around his throat and bringing them crashing down onto the floor. Yuriy was quick to react, his years of training setting in, flipping them over so that he was on top and bought his fist back, ready to smash it into Kai's face.

"_STOP!"_ Everyone froze, including the two on the floor, bringing their attentions back to me. I was surprised to find that I was shaking, partially from the force of which I'd shouted, but mostly from the raging emotions coursing through my body.

"Just _stop_ it!" I yelled, clasping my hands to my head. Despite the weirdness of the past few minutes, people still found it within themselves to be shocked by my hysteria. I managed to collect myself a bit and I opened my eyes, turning to face Yuriy and Kai.

"Yuriy get off of him, you're not making this situation any better." Yuriy pulled himself up, annoyed about the fact that he didn't get to pummel Kai.

"It's _his_ fault anyway." He muttered sulkily before walking over to my side. Kai sat up, dusting himself down, glaring heatedly at Yuriy.

"No, it's _my_ fault." I sighed, "In future I should really try not to hide things so much."

Kai rose to his feet, still enraged.

"Calm down Kai." I murmured.

"Oh, I _am _calm. You know what? I'm _sick _of this shit. Do what you want, it's not like _I_ care anyway." He went to walk away, but him being the idiot that he is, he had chosen to make me angry rather then help.

"You don't _care_?" I seethed, Kai stopped and turned back to me, startled by the hate in my voice. "You don't care?" I cried again, it dawned on me that my voice sounded louder then before- someone had shut off the music. I should have cared but I really didn't, I just carried on, desperate to prove myself to these idiots.

"No, of course you don't care! If you did you'd _listen_ to me!" I ranted, not caring about how loud I was, or what exactly I was saying.

"If you _cared_, you'd believe me when I say I'm not with Yuriy! If you _cared_ you'd see that Yuriy likes _Boris_ not _me_!" I heard a gasp from Boris- oops I'd better sort that out later, right now I'm on a roll.

"If you gave so much as a _damn_ about me you'd stop being such a conceited, cold-hearted, arrogant _prick_ and not be so close-minded and _self_-bloody-_righteous_ for once!" I yelled, venting all of the fury and all of the pain I was feeling straight at the source.

"And maybe Kai, just maybe _then_ you'd fucking realise that the_ only _person that _I'm_ in love is **_YOU_**!"

And then I had said it. I knew that it was coming and yet I didn't, but somehow even if I had been totally aware of it, I wouldn't have stopped it. The mix of the time and the place and perhaps maybe even a little of the double I had downed caused me to loose it. I shook once again from the force at which I had yelled the deepest, darkest secret that I wanted never to tell, the one that I had successfully just told the whole hotel.

That's when the true realisation of what I had done dawned upon me. My eyes snapped open in horror and I instantly clamped a hand to my mouth in a delayed reaction.

All was silence. There was no music, no voices, not even the sound of gasps. Everyone was staring at me in complete and utter shock (except for Boris that is who was still gawping at Yuriy). My attention, however, was still fixed on Kai, who was staring at me in a mix of stupefied amazement and bewilderment. It would have been funny, if it hadn't have been in this situation.

My mind finally decided to kick- start, presenting me with two options; stand and face them all, or get the hell out of there. Which do you honestly think I chose? With a muttered 'excuse me' I did the most cliché routine in the book.

I turned and fled.

Wow, could I have chosen any less subtle way to tell Kai how I feel?

* * *

ZOMG! What will happen next? Well... the last chapter is right there... click it xD;  



	10. The Russians are coming!

Oh dear. I completely forgot that I had to edit 10 too…

And go read "Choices"

/terrible self-promotion.

Go Shoot Japanese version of Let it Rip. Let it rip reminds me of the passing of gas, so I adamantly refuse to use it.

* * *

"Go shoot!" I mumbled as a familiar yet comforting flash of silver shot from my hands and into the rounded bowl of the Beystadium. Contrary to popular belief I do _actually_ Beyblade, that is to say, I don't _always_ spend my days running around like a headless chicken on crack and contemplating every moment of my life. I usually leave that to Sundays and national holidays. 

Beyblading is one of the only things that truly sets me apart. I may not have the raw talent of Takao, or the defensive capabilities of Max, or even the outstanding ability of Kai, but what I have I value above all of their own talents. I am stupendously and often stupidly courageous. I have a habit of being annoyingly tenacious and my apparent 'over- confidence' and 'arrogance' serves as a great bluff to lower the enemies own confidence in their abilities. Unlike Takao and Max, I usually fight with my mind and soul more then my heart. This would probably be why –with a mind as mixed up as mine is right now- my blade is spinning in an erratic fashion, almost completely unstable. That meant that I had to sort my thoughts out tonight, else I'll be a total wreck at the fast approaching 'Worlds'.

I've bladed ever since I was little. You can't really blame me seeing as there's not _that_ much to do in a remote village in the South- East of the great landmass that is China. It's due to this lack of a substantial amount of television or much media in general that caused me to delve further into improving my skills as a blader, a martial artist, a musician and a peacemaker. I learnt from books brought back from bi-monthly trips to Hong Kong and I played on an old acoustic guitar my uncle gave me not long after my parents died. Ever since that young age, especially bearing the grief of being an orphan, I found that my three aforementioned hobbies (peacemaking not really being a source of much entertainment) bought me escapism and comfort. I always thought that if I poured my heart and soul into something I loved, it would keep me oblivious and therefore safe to the world outside.

This is the very reason why, in light of recent events, I am trying to concentrate on a spinning piece of metal, rather then booking the first flight out of here. I needed to get my thoughts in order, but by the way things are looking I think it's going to be of no avail.

I sighed miserably. I couldn't go home after all of this. Rai would probably delight in telling the village of my sexuality, causing them to disown me. On top of that, Kai was probably going to kill me. I mean look at how shady his past is, more importantly, he's Russian and if there'd anything that Western media has told me, Russians are always 'bad guys'. I absentmindedly wondered if Kai was trained to be an assassin, after all, it would be easier to kill me rather then allow me to live and tell his secrets to the world.

I was so wrapped up in my fantasy that even my sensitive hearing failed to pick up on the sound of someone approaching me. I was only when a familiar streak of white crashed into the dish besides my own blade that I snapped out of my daze, leaping about six foot in the air and yelping an unintelligible; 'dontkillme!'

A moment later and Wolborg switched direction and made a beeline for my Byakko (or Driger as the Americans had dubbed him during their tournament), sending him flying out of the dish and clattering to a halt at my feet. I whirled around, still in a state of surprise, in order to face him better.

"You really shouldn't philosophise so much, Rei. It makes you look far more intelligent than you actually are." Yuriy chided, before his usual lop-sided grin fell into place. "Best two outta three?" He asked.

My mouth moved, but no words came. Hadn't I just ruined his already pretty crappy life? Hadn't I just told the whole world that he was not only gay, but had a major crush on his homophobic, sadistic team-mate only minutes after finding out myself? Why the hell was he _still _being as jovial as ever?

Two answers sprung to mind- either he'd gone crazy again, or he _too_ was an assassin who was out to get me. I frowned, since when have I been so paranoid? I looked back to Yuriy and tried again. This time I managed to get a word out. "…B-Boris…?" I stammered.

Yuriy frowned in response. "Boris?" He questioned before his eyes widened in understanding. "Oh! What _about _Boris!" he finished, obviously getting my point. His brows suddenly knitted and his expression turned grave. Shit. This isn't good, Yuriy's never grave. I reacted the best way I knew how- I threw myself at him.

"Yuriy! I'm so sorry! I really am! I don't know what possessed me- ok I know what possessed me- but I promise, I'll never drink again! Please don't hate me, I'll do anything to make the situation better, I'll even lie and say that I was being malicious! Please, don't kill me! I don't wanna loose the only big brother I've ever had!" I sobbed into his jumper, (most likey causing my eyeliner to run, but who gives a damn?) holding it in a vice like grip. I broke out of my babbling, noticing that Yuriy was shaking. I froze. He was probably shaking from pent up rage! I pulled away; ready to back off when I saw that familiar grin once again. Then… he lost it. And not in the homicidal maniac way, he just, laughed… a lot. I think I'm in trouble.

I felt more tears well, I think that he hates me- he's laughing at me and my pathetic attempts to apologise. I ignored the fresh tears which trickled down my cheeks, making no move to wipe them away. Yuriy's laughter subsided when he saw this, immediately replacing his grin with a worried expression and moving forward, wrapping his arms around me.

"Rei? Sweetheart, what's wrong? You look devastated." He asked voice laced with concern. He wrapped his arms tighter around me.

"I-I-I…" I stuttered between sobs, "I'm so sorry, Yuriy, p-please don't leave me." I cried into his chest. I hated myself right now, I'd just done the stupidest thing ever and now I was being clingy. The emotion which I thought I had released earlier was apparently still as fresh and raw as ever, the last thing I wanted was to loose my best friend. I had already lost too much. I'm not ashamed to say that I craved the comfort that Yuriy was applying. What I couldn't understand was _why_ he was comforting me.

"Shhh, come on now, calm down, Rei- Rei" he soothed using my Chinese name, "there's no way I'm ever gonna leave you." He sighed rubbing my back. I pulled away, looking up at his face to make sure that he was as sincere as he sounded. I was met with his smile, warm as ever. I smiled back, feeling a little better.

"Really?" I whispered.

"Of course. I'm afraid you're stuck with me." He smiled fondly, wiping away my tears, "C'mon now, you're much stronger then this, Rei- love. Where's the stubborn ass who took on Bori at the Worlds, hmmn?"

I pulled away from his arms and nodded solemnly. "Yeah, but I'm still sorry that I messed it all up for you." I shrugged, he laughed again.

"You see, that's what I found so hilarious," he grinned, "because if you're apologising for making my life better, please don't." I stared at him, not comprehending what he was on about.

"Better?" I frowned, "but Boris-"

"-but Boris" Yuriy interrupted, grinning, "grabbed me the minute you left, shoved me up a wall and proceeded to show me just how 'homophobic' he is." He chuckled.

My eyes widened, "Did he hit you?" I gasped.

Yuriy grinned more, looking a bit like his old deranged self. "No he hit **on **me," he chuckled again at my blank stare, "He kissed me. Quite a lot actually, who'd have thought he'd be so passionate." He finished with a grin like a Cheshire cat. I gawped back at him.

"He _kissed_ you?" I yelled.

"Yup, seems your theory about him being jealous was correct." He mused, though I could see that he was extremely happy inside. I smiled; it was wonderful to see him get what he deserves for once. He's a good person; the best even. He turned his attentions back to me.

"Y'know, I really wouldn't write Kai off yet. I mean if _Boris_ can get over himself, I'm sure _he_ can." I sighed, shaking my head.

"No, it's hopeless. Did you see his face?" Yuriy shook his head, "He looked utterly stupefied- not the best reaction in the world to get."

"Not the worst either." Yuriy interjected.

"Yeah well, I bet he'll kill me anyway." I muttered miserably while re-launching my blade.

"Kill you?" Yuri replied, not understanding.

"Yeah, he's Russian." I concluded.

"So?" Yuriy asked, still confused.

"So," I explained, "the shady Russian type is always an assassin or suchlike." I said, only half joking. Yuriy erupted into laughter again.

"God, your racism is **so** damned cute! **I'm **a shady Russian too y'know!" He shook his head; "you really have been watching too much TV" He gasped.

"Making up for lost time." I grumbled, focusing my concentration on my blade.

"Ye-" Yuriy started before breaking off. I turned around, only to find him staring upwards towards the seats of the stadium with a frown on his face.

"Yuriy?" I questioned, wondering what had caught his attention, "what is it?"

He snapped his attention back to me. "What? Oh it's nothing, Rei," he smiled. I went to look to where he had been looking when I felt his hand on my shoulder, turning me back to face him.

"Look," he said softly, "if worse comes to absolute worse there's always a place for you with us." I gasped in shock at this unexpected invitation.

"Me? A Neo Borg boy?" I asked in surprise.

"Why not?" Yuriy grinned, "all the guys have great respect for you, you're a great blader" he smirked "plus it also helps to be the adopted little brother of the Team captain." He laughed. I smiled in return, feeling genuinely touched.

"Thanks, Yuriy." I whispered, happy that I would still have a home by the end of the day.

"No problemo." He smiled, giving my shoulder one last squeeze before moving away to walk back to the club.

"Where are you going?" I asked worriedly, not really in the mood to be on my own. He turned back to face me, yet once again his eyes were fixated on a spot above my head.

"Nowhere, Rei- sweet, it's just sometimes destiny needs a good kick up the arse." He finished loudly, before departing from the room. I stood and watched him until he disappeared into the darkness before sighing heavily and returning my attention back to my blade. Watching in fascination as silver merged with blue.

Wait. Blue? I looked up across the dish, my eyes wide in shock.

"You really need to start being more forward, Rei" Kai stated calmly, his eyes fixed on our blades, weaving intricate patterns around each other.

"Forward?" I asked quietly, did he mean that I needed to be more honest? I think he's mad with me- I really do need to start being more forward.

"Yeah," he said still concentrating, "you don't attack enough." I frowned, suddenly confused.

"Attack?" I questioned. He looked at me then, those crimson eyes as full as secrets as ever. '_Just as gorgeous as ever'_ my mind added.

"Attack" he confirmed, gesturing at the blades. I looked down to the beybattle which was still in process. '_Oh! He meant…_' I looked down, blushing at how stupid I was. An uncomfortable silence settled upon us. I looked back up to see that Kai was frowning, deep in thought. He turned his eyes up to me and opened his mouth to say something before shutting it again. I blushed harder and looked back at the floor.

"You," he started again, "you thought that I was going to kill you?" he asked. I looked up at him only to find that his face was an adorable mix of confusion and amusement. I opened my mouth, about to answer when I froze again. How the hell did he know _that_?

"How did you..?" I trailed off. Then I realised something a little late, "you were here all along?" I asked, trying to keep the waver out of my voice.

"Yeah." He nodded, still looking at the battle below us, "although Yuriy, the idiot, spotted me." He chuckled. I only stared at him in wonderment.

"How long did you sit there for?" I asked, gulping slightly. He shrugged and looked up at me.

"Pretty much since you fled the club," he stated. I paled slightly, great he'd seen me act like an idiot yet again and heard all I'd said to Yuriy. "I followed you, passed Boris who was sticking his tongue down Yuriy's throat and found you here, so I just grabbed a seat and watched you train." He looked down again, "You were so deep in thought that I didn't want to disturb you." He finished gently. I gulped again and mentally slapped myself, I'm such a baka sometimes, why the hell did I think that Kai wanted to kill me?

"I…" I started, drawing Kais attention from the fascinating spot on the floor to me, "I'm sorry that I was such and idiot and thinking that you wanted to kill me." I said all in one breath. Kai looked confused for a second most likely deciphering it before he grinned.

"Who said that I don't want to kill you?" he said silkily. My eyes widened in horror. Oh God, he **is **going to kill me.

"What do you say we place a little bet, Rei-_Rei_?" Despite the circumstances, I felt my heart flutter when he added the second 'Rei' to my name. "How about," he continued, "we say that if you win this little match, I'll leave you alone." He paused, seeking my confirmation. I shakily nodded my head. "But if I win," he paused and grinned even more, I was beginning to get uncomfortable, Kai never grins this much. "If I win, I get to take your life in anyway I choose." My shoulders slumped in defeat. I'm dead. There's no way that I can defeat Kai in the condition I'm in.

"Alright." I sighed, calling my blade back. He, in return, called his Dranzer back.

"Ok," he started, still smiling, "3…2…1…"

"Go shoot," we cried in unison. Twin streaks of blue and silver shot into the dish and began steadily circling each other. I just watched, a spectator, not a player. I had already given up.

"Isn't there a saying; '_you only hurt the ones you love'_?" Kai asked quietly, before straightening up again. "Rei! What did I tell you about attacking?" he shouted, annoyed. I shrugged and continued watching. Kai smirked again and glanced at his blade.

"Suzaku! Attack now!" a gentle light enveloped the dish as the phoenix made himself known. I looked back to Kai, noticing with fascination the way his eyes shined whenever he saw him. His gaze dropped back to me and I saw an emotion that was usually alien to the Russian boy's eyes, somehow though, I just couldn't place what it was. He smiled apologetically at me before dropping his gaze once more. I followed suit and wasn't surprised to find that my blade had landed at my feet. Great, just bloody great.

The sound of approaching footsteps caused me to look up into the smiling eyes of Kai Hiwatari. I nodded glumly and kneeled down, retrieving my blade. I stared at his booted feet as they stopped just inches away from me. Sighing again I stood up again and stared into his eyes, a fleeting thought hit me; '_Like twin pools of blood. Not in a horror- movie kind of way, but in the warm, life-giving sort of way._' I smiled in defeat and waited. Kai smiled back, not even a slight hint of malice present in his expression. He tentatively raised his hand and twined it around my neck pushing his fingers into my hair and entwining them with the fine strands. My breath began to hitch and my heart was going wild. I think it's going to be death by heart attack for Rei Kon.

I began to shiver when he moved his hand slowly in my hair, gently rubbing my neck. If this was his idea of killing me then maybe I should be more like Takao and annoy the hell out of him. Then again, maybe I'm in heaven. He was so close, perhaps closer then he'd ever been to me and I could feel the heat radiating from him. I felt the familiar pang of desire, but allowed it free reign this time. If Kai was going to kill me then what did it matter? Speaking of which…

"Kai? How are you going to kill me?" I breathed, surprised that I had managed to find my voice. His gaze locked with my own and he smirked lightly.

"Asphyxiation." He murmured, placing his other hand at the base of my spine and pulling me closer. I bit my lip to keep myself from crying out when I felt him pressed up against me. What the hell was he doing torturing me like this?

"Isn't that when you cut off someone's oxygen?" I half gasped, half whined.

Kai grinned, relishing in my discomfort. "Clever boy," he whispered huskily, shifting a bit.

"I read a lot." Was my defiant if somewhat moaned answer. "Just get it over with." I hissed, knowing that I was fast loosing control.

"Alright," he chuckled quietly, before lowering his face slightly and gripped the back of my head. My eyes widened, it almost looked like… "Do you have **any **idea how long I have waited to leave you breathless, Rei Kon?" He smirked before crushing his mouth against mine.

* * *

The last remnants of darkness slipped away as I slowly opened my eyes, blinking reflexively to adjust them to the light. I frowned as memories surged in my mind, before a small smile spread across my features. I tilted my head to the other side of my bed… which was empty. 

"Oh shit!" I murmured, "Don't tell me that it was all a dream!" I said, my voice rising slightly. Don't tell me that the cruellest of clichés had come true, please don't tell me that none of it was real.

"Don't let it be a dream." I whispered.

"Don't let _what_ be a dream, love?" I whirled around only to find the source of the voice leaning against the doorframe, watching me with a small smile upon his face. I gasped, maybe..?

"I thought that yesterday was a dream, Kai, I thought that things were going to be the same as always, and that none of it was true!" I rushed. Kai chuckled and handed me one of the steaming mugs which had previously escaped my attention.

"If you mean the yesterday where you woke up with a hangover, drove me near insane with jealousy, got engaged to Mao, passed out, drew everyone's attention to you by looking as sexy as hell, told everyone that you were gay, told everyone that you loved me, got offered a spot on the major Russian team, convinced yourself that I'm an assassin, found out that your feelings are very much returned **and** lost your virginity to your gorgeous team captain, then yes, it was all just a dream." He finished, taking in a deep breath and taking a gulp of his coffee.

I blushed heavily and despite myself laughed. "Good, because I don't think I'd have the energy to do it again." I smiled. Kai smirked.

"Damn, I was looking forward to an early morning tumble-"

"Not _that,_ you pervert!" I admonished. He appeared not to hear me as he carried on his trip through fantasy land, smirking to himself. I shook my head in mock disapproval and slurped my tea. Despite the fact that my best friend's insane, his lover put me in hospital, my boyfriend is a horny egomaniac, my team-mates see me as their temporary mother and I myself am most likey insane to some extent, something tells me that this is how I _want_ it to be.

I think that everything's going to be alright. Hang on…

"Kai, don't think I can't feel your hand, move it before I bite it off."

Yup, alright.

There are 10 things that I love about my life:

1. My hair. Kai thinks it makes me look even more lovely (not his _exact_ choice of words), it feels so nice when he runs his fingers through it.

2. I'm in Russia, which is like _the_ coldest place on Earth, which doesn't really matter anymore when you have a nice warm body cuddled up against yours to keep you nice and cosy.

3. I set a record crying lesson yesterday, but I don't care because that doesn't make me any less of a person. (Kai of course, thinks otherwise and delights in teasing me about it.)

4. I have had loads of letters from fangirls who think that I'm sexy and are 100 behind me being who and what I am.

5. Mao is not speaking to me.

6. I'm madly in love (to the point of crazy fan- girl obsession)…

7. … with a guy…

8. … who just happens to be my super- perfect, super- sexy and… super 'gifted' team captain and boyfriend Kai 'Property of Rei' Hiwatari.

9. I went to a party, drank a bit too much and told everyone in the hotel the above three points and managed to realise all of my pent up emotion in an overdue emotional outburst.

10. I survived the worst day of my life and came out of it with an indebted older brother, a non-trying-to-get-into-my-pants little sister and most importantly; I got the guy. I think that makes me the hero here. And I think that I can now get on with my life.

Don't get me wrong, life still sucks. Just in more ways then one.

**The End**

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* * *

**

And for the second time, I say- good bye. Hope you enjoyed the only anyone knows me for xD;

Feels nice revisiting it, I must admit. Back when I was a young and sprighty 16 xD!


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